The Wolfman Cometh

Hello my name is Gilbert Jackerson and I am a werewolf. I know what you are thinking "Yeah, right fruitcake and you were a star in those vampire movies as well, right?" No, no I am truly the world's only werewolf (that I know of anyway). You see I was specifically made to be a werewolf. Let me explain.

You see I am not one of those comic book I-was-bitten-by-a-wolf or some nuclear experiment gone wrong type werewolf. No I was made by geneticists specifically to be a werewolf. How? Well, being that I am not a geneticist I really don't completely know but they told me it had to do with stem cells, cloning and lot of gene splicing. They told me that they tried literally hundreds of thousands of times before they got it right with me. Oh, and I don't mutate. I am always in the werewolf form - that's me. No human form, no wolf form, always in-between. The scientists are still trying that whole changing thing but they are not real hopeful. So social interaction has never really gone well for me outside of the whole lab - I'm kinda scary looking.

What do I look like? Well...I'm eight feet tall when I stand up straight (sometimes I run on all fours but not too often). My entire body is covered in a thick padding of dark coarse hair - sexy huh ladies. I have normal hands and feet except the nails are more like claws. My jaw is also like a wolf's so I have a wolf type face. And my eyes are yellow (don't know really where that came from). I weigh about 350 pounds without an ounce of fat on me so you could say that I am quite muscular. For those of you thinking of a brooding Beast-type looking fellow - think again. I look nothing like that wuss. My hair is shorter and I am much more muscular. And yes, I wear clothes - sickos.

So, why did the 'ole scientists create me? Well, from what I have been able to ascertain the reason was a cross between creating a super-soldier and because they thought it would be cool. Mostly because they thought it would be cool. So, yeah.

Well, like any wolfman/werewolf, I am not too keen on being locked up inside so, about a year ago I busted out of the place. Now I kinda roam the countryside just being free. And it's nice, really nice. Sleeping under the stars, killing a few rabbits for meals, snacking on some fresh fish, ah, bliss. Once in a while I hit the city and scare the locals (like today) but not much. But all that bliss does get boring every now and again. So, what do I do for fun?

I kill hunters. Hey, don't judge. They're armed so they have a fighting chance. I mean what kinda sport is hunting anyway? The deer isn't gonna shoot you back. Hell, the deer is probably not gonna even bite you. Bear are a little different but still the rifle is pretty much going to win that fight every time. So, I figure I am evening up the odds for the animals. I'm making it a real sport. And trust me; nothing is funnier than watching a grown man in an orange vest crap himself when he sees me for the first time. And let me tell you that human flesh is a lot more tasty than you may think especially over an open flame. Although, I will say, the disemboweling can get a little messy especially if they ain't dead yet. But ya gotta do it before it spoils the meat. I personally do the throat thing - slice it open and hang them upside down 'til they bleed out then cut out the organs.

I try to hit a different National Forest every few months or so. So, next time you're in the woods give me a holler, I might be there waiting for you.

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