The Working Mom Vs. The Stay-At-Home Mom

This is a complex subject that affects millions of mom's around the world with what they have had to consider at least once in their life. They find themselves blessed to start a family and are torn between staying at home with their child and getting back into the work-force again to contribute to the family income. Which is the right thing to do? Is there really a right or wrong answer? Naturally, the answers will differ depending on your family and circumstances, but this article should reflect many of the feelings and emotions that are currently felt by fellow mothers and families.

Let's begin by discussing the stay at home mom. Should a woman decide to stay at home with her child, she will be blessed with a number of wonderful things. She can take comfort knowing she is making herself completely available to her child, for sick days, for school activities, or for those endless hours of feedings, burpings, naps and care that the newest family members receive. If the mom is up all night with the baby, she doesn't have to worry about getting up, forcing makeup on her face to pretend to be awake and head to work. She can stay in her pajamas for as long as necessary while tending to her infants' needs. The stay at home mom can be there to witness the milestones in her child's life, she can influence the child with manners and discipline to the measure their family feels is necessary and she can take pride in knowing that she was able to be there to incorporate those things on her own and have a say in her child's day to day environment. She can participate fully in what her child is learning and she has the luxury of being able to run errands during the day that most working moms cannot achieve simply due to their working hours. She has the opportunity to clean house and catch up on things that the working mom seldom has time for. Though she is not making any money, the family isn't faced with the costs of childcare and she has the honor to watch her child grow each day.

As for the working mom, she is every bit as dedicated as the stay at home mom, with the exception of having to go to work to make an income. The child goes to daycare/preschool where they do fun projects to enhance learning, make new friends, learn how to interact with other children, and where they can be proud of their own creations. They tend to learn at a quicker rate when surrounded by other children, and it helps prepare them for Kindergarten and grade school. Though the mother cannot be there to watch their child's every move, they can be proud of the independence their child is learning to adapt, as well as praise them for the pictures they draw, the art they painted or the projects they made. Their creativity is enhanced and they become their own little "person" when they are among the daycare environment. The mom has the peace of mind knowing that her wages are contributing to the family, it ups her confidence and it serves as a sense of added security in the event something should happen. Also as a result of making money, they may be able to take more family trips, do more things as a family and add to a savings, trust or college fund that they otherwise wouldn't be able to contribute to. Going to work allows her to get out of the house and interact with other adults, and enhances her social well-being, therefore often giving her more patience when she comes home to her children. She will develop a schedule and routine with her children and they easily adapt to this and they understand that "mommy has to go to work". The routine will also prepare the children for school, and it assists into a regular bedtime schedule as well.

There are inevitably pro's and con's to both equations, yet some women (or even men for that matter) don't have an option at all. Some single parents out there don't have the choice of staying at home with their children, as they depend on themselves for their sole income alone. I was once a single mom, so I can relate to this completely. I had a respectable full time job, I was often barely making ends meet, yet I made too much to receive any sort of assistance; I learned to sacrifice and I made do. I didn't want to be on welfare, I simply didn't want it to be such a strain to survive. Though I suppose having endured that time in my life has made me view stay at home mom's as very "lucky" because it is something I was never able to do. I still feel they are fortunate to experience the upbringing of their children firsthand, I also can understand that "need" to make money, to feel like you are contributing to something, and to boost your confidence, therefore I can relate to the working mom as well. Ultimately, it depends on your situation. Perhaps some may choose to be stay at home mom's just long enough for their child's first year of life and then slowly wean themselves back to work when they feel the time is right. Other's may opt to get back into the groove of working right away and have security of knowing they are making money to better care financially for their children. It is not an easy decision, and as discussed earlier, for some it isn't a decision at all. The fact remains that whether you work or stay at home, your love and dedication to your child is no different and no less regardless what you do. Have the faith and confidence knowing you will always have that bond between you and your child regardless what you decide (as a family) to do, and that love will always carry through.