The World According to Al Bundy

Like Rodney Dangerfield, the long running Fox comedy series, "Married with Children", gets no respect. There've been no Emmys for this show despite its ten year long run. Okay, it was nominated for an Emmy several times ... for costuming and editing.

Why the lack of respect, you might ask. The answer: "Married with Children" is a high quality guilty pleasure. Since its beginnings in 1987, it had been a top target for television critics, accusing the show of misogyny, misanthropy, and racism despite the fact that one of the show's two creators was Michael Moye, an African-American, and many of the show's best episodes were written by women including Katherine Green, Ellen L. Fogle, Sandy Sprung, Marcy Vosburgh, Stacey Lipp and Kim Weiskopf. Like the Three Stooges, "Married with Children" has long been accused of being a strictly male indulgence, but why is that a bad thing?

For me, the main reason for the show's longevity has been that the characters were well drawn and supremely acted, particularly by Ed O'Neill and Katey Sagal. For me, O'Neill's Al Bundy is a creation of supreme genius.

Here are some of my favorite Al Bundy lines:

ON MARRIAGE

"For me, it's been one continuous year since I got married. Actually, one long month: Helluary."

"Women. You can't live with them. ... The end."

"I'm the only guy in the world who has to wake up to have a nightmare."

"Gee, I wish I could figure out what happened to my tools and my copper wiring and my tile and my life and my manhood."

(on Peggy's pregnancy) "God, I feel like Exxon. One spill, I'm paying for it the rest of my life."

ON HIS LIFE

"What a nice town we live in. Neighborhood's burning down. No cops. There's a robbery. No cops. I start my car. Here comes the Bundy Squad."

"Am I truly nothing? Could the neighborhood children be right?"

"The only power I sensed was that of the mighty forces unleashed by beans."

"Bundy's a name you earn. Our emotional scars run so deep you can almost see them."

"I will not bend. I will not break. I will not sit. I will not make."

ON FAMILY

(To Peg) "Well, I guess there's nothing left to do but pick out the dress you're going to wear when Dan Rather asks you why your son shot the President."

"A man's home is his coffin."

ON FATHERHOOD

(The Psycho Dad theme song)

"Who's that riding into the sun?
Who's the man with the itchy gun?
Who's the man who kills for fun?
Psycho Dad. Psycho Dad. Psycho Dad.
He sleeps with a gun, but he loves his son.
Killed his wife cuz she weighed a ton ... Psycho Dad!"

SOURCES:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092400/quotes

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Al_Bundy#Al_Bundy_Famous_Quotes