The World's Best Graduation Speech

FREE ADVICE!!!!

Philip Theibert
The Best Graduation Speech Ever

Look I'm the guy who told Lincoln to go to the play

Who advised Columbus the earth was flat

Who told Copernicus the sun revolved around the earth

Who suggested Newton stay away from apple trees

Who told Leonardo to change the smile on the Mona Lisa

Who told Custer it was just a few Indians

Who told Ford to call the car Edsel

Who thought Prohibition was a good idea

Who wondered what harm can a few cigarettes do

Who invented Preparation J

Who told the Wright Brothers to stick to making bicycles

Who told my brother-in-law the IRS would never find out

Who predicted a good year for stocks in 1929

Who said Go East young man

Who told Elvis "Stick to Driving a truck"

Who thought "moving picture talkies" were a silly idea

Who thought that Louis Pasteur made up the concept of germs

Who told Charlie Sheen a few drinks couldn't hurt

Who told Caesar to go to the forum

Who told GM the Japanese could never take over the auto market

Who suggested Hemingway give up writing

Who told Picasso he couldn't paint

Who told Van Gogh not to seek therapy

Who told Adam, "Hey, it's just an apple"

Who told Texans the Alamo was bullet proof

Who told the Light Brigade to charge

Who told General Picket to advance

Who thought Television was just a passing fad

Who told Jesus to trust Judas

Who told Americans not to worry about Hitler

Who said Pearl Harbor was well protected

Who thought Babe Ruth was too fat to be any good

Who thought the Beatles were just another garage band

Who told Colonel Sanders there was no future in chickens

Who Napoleon that the English were nothing but a nation of shopkeepers

Who told the McDonald's brothers, Americans preferred cooking at home

Who told the Japanese the Americans were just kidding about that nuclear bomb

Who advised Bill Gates to stay in college

Who thought the Red Sox would never win a World Series

That Facebook was just plain silly

Who never saw a future for I-Phones

So I was wrong sometimes

So sue me

But remember the world is full of bad advice

And many of the adults who will speak today

at graduations across the country

may be wrong too.

Keep that in mind

and remember it is your life

You only get one

So do what you damn well please with it

Published by Philip Theibert

Philip Theibert is available for writing jobs and can be found at www.writingcoachnow.com. His latest book, The Most Creative, Escape the Ordinary, Excel at Public Speaking Ever , will be out in Fall 2012....  View profile

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