The World's Best Graduation Speech
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Look I'm the guy who told Lincoln to go to the play
Who advised Columbus the earth was flat
Who told Copernicus the sun revolved around the earth
Who suggested Newton stay away from apple trees
Who told Leonardo to change the smile on the Mona Lisa
Who told Custer it was just a few Indians
Who told Ford to call the car Edsel
Who thought Prohibition was a good idea
Who wondered what harm can a few cigarettes do
Who invented Preparation J
Who told the Wright Brothers to stick to making bicycles
Who told my brother-in-law the IRS would never find out
Who predicted a good year for stocks in 1929
Who said Go East young man
Who told Elvis "Stick to Driving a truck"
Who thought "moving picture talkies" were a silly idea
Who thought that Louis Pasteur made up the concept of germs
Who told Charlie Sheen a few drinks couldn't hurt
Who told Caesar to go to the forum
Who told GM the Japanese could never take over the auto market
Who suggested Hemingway give up writing
Who told Picasso he couldn't paint
Who told Van Gogh not to seek therapy
Who told Adam, "Hey, it's just an apple"
Who told Texans the Alamo was bullet proof
Who told the Light Brigade to charge
Who told General Picket to advance
Who thought Television was just a passing fad
Who told Jesus to trust Judas
Who told Americans not to worry about Hitler
Who said Pearl Harbor was well protected
Who thought Babe Ruth was too fat to be any good
Who thought the Beatles were just another garage band
Who told Colonel Sanders there was no future in chickens
Who Napoleon that the English were nothing but a nation of shopkeepers
Who told the McDonald's brothers, Americans preferred cooking at home
Who told the Japanese the Americans were just kidding about that nuclear bomb
Who advised Bill Gates to stay in college
Who thought the Red Sox would never win a World Series
That Facebook was just plain silly
Who never saw a future for I-Phones
So I was wrong sometimes
So sue me
But remember the world is full of bad advice
And many of the adults who will speak today
at graduations across the country
may be wrong too.
Keep that in mind
and remember it is your life
You only get one
So do what you damn well please with it
Published by Philip Theibert
Philip Theibert is available for writing jobs and can be found at www.writingcoachnow.com. His latest book, The Most Creative, Escape the Ordinary, Excel at Public Speaking Ever , will be out in Fall 2012.... View profile
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