The World's Worst Joke

So I was walking down the street yesterday, and I ran into a good friend of mine from college. Now, I hadn't seen him in a while, so, naturally, I was a little taken aback by his new appearance. At first, i thought it was his eyes. They did seem a little beadier than usual. But, after three minutes of staring awkwardly at his beady little rat eyes, I realized what it was. My friend had a pumpkin for a head.

Naturally, I was curious. On any given day, I usually only see one or two people suffering from this condition. So, even though I really hated this guy and had places to go, my curiosity got the best of me, and i had to ask:
"How did you get a pumpkin for a head?"

"Well..." my one time friend began, "It all started about three days ago. I was walking home from the gym, and I found an old lamp on the ground. So, naturally, I did what anyone would do, and I began to rub it. And lo and behold, a genie popped out! Being a genie, he decided to give me the traditional three wishes. I was elated. So, for my first wish, i asked for billions and billions of dollars."

"Did you get it?" I asked him, my curiosity piqued.

"Oh of course." He replied in turn. "When I got home that night, I had eighty billion dollars in my account. So, naturally, I went on a massive spending spree. And it was fun, I guess. But then I realized: what I really wanted was to be a player for the 1993 Chicago Bulls."

"No way!" I responded, getting more and more interested. "Did that work too?"

My friend nodded, and said, "Oh of course. The genie gave me my very own time machine and some of that Flubber stuff."

"The Flubber from the movie Flubber?" I asked, incredulous.

"The very same!" he replied, winking with his beady little pumpkin eyes. "So i went back in time, and used the Flubber, and I became the star player of the 1993 Chicago Bulls. Of course, you probably wouldn't recognize me. One of the side effects of Flubber is that it makes you look and sound exactly like Michael Jordan."

"That's incredible!" I exclaimed, completely in awe. "But wait... I'm still confused. How did you get the pumpkin for a head? And what was your third wish?"

"Well..." my friend said, looking as forlorn as a man with a pumpkin for a head can look. "My third wish is where everything started to go horribly, horribly wrong. For my final wish, I asked to have a pumpkin for a head."

That's the joke. Think of all the time you just wasted reading that. Remember: when telling it to your friends, stretch it out as long as possible. By changing it to seven minutes, you can wast upwards of thirty minutes of peoples time! Think how popular you will become with this joke in your arsenal.