The World's Worst Wedding Advice

As a bride or groom-to-be, you'll have no shortage of people chirping advice in your ear. Whether solicited or not, wedding advice will come - and at times, it will be confusing, bizarre, or even downright contradictory.

In reality, weddings are about what you and your fiance want. Period. Chances are, one of the things that you want is to make your nearest and dearest happy as well. Seek the advice of people you truly care about, and whose judgment you trust. No one else matters - especially not the writers of articles you'll find in wedding magazines and on some wedding websites. Here's a breakdown of some bad wedding advice you'll probably run into - and why there's no reason to follow it.

Don't do that, it's tacky!

If you're planning to do anything that's outside of what's traditional in a wedding, expect to hear this word more than once. "Tacky" has become a catch-all term for anything that rubs someone the wrong way, and honestly - do you want your wedding to be about someone else's tastes?

Recently, it's become more and more mainstream to have a "theme wedding." And I'm not talking about a "Hawaiian getaway" theme, I'm talking about a Stargate SG-1 theme or a hiking theme or...the possibilities are endless. And none of them need to be "tacky."

To avoid true tackiness, be sensible. You're probably aware if you don't have much of a flair for decorating or can't figure out what colors go together. If you can't trust your own tastes, or don't have much of an opinion, consider handing over the job to a friend or family member who can help you create your perfect wedding vision. If you're the bride, don't assume you have to take over "choosing colors" and all that just because you're the woman. Grooms, if you have a better eye for colors than your sweetie, don't be shy about taking over!

Another option, for the less budget-conscious, is to hire a wedding planner. It's not necessary to have one, but they can really help if you are clueless. Just make sure to pick one who will be helpful without trampling your unique vision.

Bridesmaids and groomsmen must (fill in the blank).

You'll hear all sorts of "rules" about wedding attendants, including what they must be called, what they must wear, and how many of them you need. The truth? It's up to you. Pick wedding attendants based on who you want to honor in your important day. Don't pick your siblings if you'd rather pick a close friend, and don't feel like you have to go out and find a same-sex friend to fill the post of Maid of Honor or Best Man. A bride can have a Man of Honor, or a Little Sister of Honor, or a Dog of Honor. As long as it's what you truly want, no one else's opinion matters!

What about clothes? While attendants shouldn't clash with your colors, there's no rule that says they have to rent tuxes or buy expensive dresses they will never wear again. Especially if your attendants are on a budget, encourage them to find something affordable, or even something they already have in their closet. When I got married, three of my bridesmaids already had dresses that were close enough in color that they didn't need to buy anything new. Don't think of it as "cutting corners" - it's just a smart way to go, and your attendants will appreciate it more than any gift.

Spend (some percentage of your budget) on (this one aspect).

Many people will insist that it's necessary to spend, say, 1/3 of your budget on catering, or some other number they've pulled out of nowhere. Much like the antiquated "spend x months' salary on an engagement ring" rule, it's completely arbitrary. Plenty of brides and grooms decide to ignore it, but they go about it completely the wrong way.

The unfortunate side-effect of people's obsession with wedding food? Those on a tight budget end up skimping. They order too little expensive food, or go with a sundae bar that won't satisfy hungry guests. You don't need $20+ per plate to feed your guests a great meal! Avoid catering companies that specialize in weddings. If you have about $10-15 to spend per guest, try a restaurant that offers catering. Doing it buffet-style is a fantastic way to cut down on costs, and unless you're planning a super-formal affair, no one is going to think it's odd. Some restaurants may even offer catering that costs as little as $5 per person. If you have even less than that, go to a premium grocery store. Their deli trays are usually delicious, attractive, and relatively affordable. I outfitted my wedding with trays from Wegman's, and everyone raved about the food. The variety that's available might surprise you: sandwiches, salads, sushi, and even hot dishes if you want to go that route.

You get the point: don't blindly follow "rules," do what makes sense for your wedding and your budget. At the end of the day, it's going to be about you and your fiance having the time of your lives, and nothing else really matters.

Sources

Miles Stiverson, "The Worst Wedding Advice Ever." MSN.com