The Worst Bands in the World

First of all apologies to all of the horrid bands that I could not include on this list. There's just a tremendous amount of horrible music today and there's no way I could include all of the awful bands in my list!

Secondly, apologies to all of the putrid "musical" acts such as Britney Spears and Ashley Simpson. Certainly I could easily fill a giant list of awful music with just these types of pop tarts but indeed that would be too easy, even easier than listing nauseating bands. Luckily for these ladies they do not qualify as "bands."

Thirdly, apologies to all of the bad bands of the past. This list is confined to only active bands that are stinking up the airwaves.

Fourth, sorry to all of the incredibly crap unknown bands out there (and there are seemingly millions.) This list is comprised of only bands that at least 10 people have heard of.

Now let's get on with it. The worst of the worst. The Seven Worst Bands In The World!

#1 Nickelback

An obvious choice. You can't really go wrong with Nickelback when you're talking about bad music. These guys are every rock cliché in the book. Their music is custom made for people that don't like or know anything about music. It's a formless mass of garbage derived from all of the other very similar music that was already on the radio when Nickelback arrived on the scene to test the very limits of how far my eyes can roll back in my head. When I hear their song on the radio (and they have just one, don't they?) I actually begin to feel physically nauseous. That's how bad they are. They are the musical equivalent of a flu.

#2 Fall Out Boy

If the backstreet boys were a "rock band" this is what they would sound like. They have the audacity to use the word "punk" in their genre classification that they on their MySpace page. MySpace of course can be blamed for their popularity. You would hope that their fans are all under 18 and just don't know any better but I'm sure this isn't the case. If I hadn't heard Nickelback before I would probably think it'd be impossible to make music more boring and pointless than this. I actually just had a convulsion from listening to Fall Out Boy's music streaming on their MySpace page. I shouldn't put myself through this just for an article, should I? What's wrong with me. The only thing worse than listening to Fall Out Boy's music is looking at their fan comments on this site. It's truly disturbing the amount of mindless zombies we have roaming the earth.

#3 Panic! At The Disco

The 80s sucked the first time. How long is our "popular culture" going to just revel in cheese? Forever? Has been forever? Maybe I'm just looking back at a time that didn't ever happen. They throw in the occasional curse word to show how cutting edge they are. Truly impressive. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe this isn't mom rock at all. This is real rock n' roll. You've fooled me!

#4 Every Single "Artist" Who's Ever Been On American Idol, Ever.

This is a special listing for all of these amazing "artists." I was just looking at the Billboard album charts (which is sort of like poking a stick in your eye.) I think about 30 of the top 100 albums right now are from former American Idol contestants. I really think we are at some peak in tastelessness in our country. Can it get even worse? I mean, it's hard to imagine really. 10 years ago I would have laughed like a madman if you had told me that singers (including many that didn't even win said competition) would be dominating the album charts. Now that it's actually the case, well, I still laugh like a madman. But now it's a pained, disturbed laughter. Why do people want to hear these people perform this recycled boring music with absolutely no imagination or creativity? I just do not understand it. Really to the people that enjoy Kellie Pickler and actually go out and buy her album music must be like a piece of chewing gum. Nothing more than that, and probably even less. And no, I make absolutely no exception for a single person that has been this show. If you are a contestant on American Idol you give up your right to ever be taken seriously by anyone, ever. Yes I do realize that I've broken my bands only rule but this special case really needed to be mentioned.

#5 Bon Jovi

I had to check to make sure they are still an active band before I included them on this list. I really think Bon Jovi is just a great example of bad pop music. These guys will try to ape whatever is the popular trend at the time and then turn it into some wretched sing along. One would really hope we would be done with these guys by now but they've been playing some awful song (new?) by them on this commercial for New Jersey on the television here all the time recently. I live in NYC by the way, so if you're in the area you'll probably know what I mean. If not, you're lucky you've missed it!

#6 Destiny's Child

Ok they're not exactly a band. But there's a group of them. This entire genre of which Destiny's Child is the perfect example is just so tired and predictable it's unimaginable to me why anyone would listen to it.

#7 Coldplay

Now I don't really think Coldplay is one of the worst seven bands in the world nor do I even think they are a bad band. In fact I think they are a very average mediocre band. So why have I included them? Because their massive popularity is a huge indictment of the lack of taste of the general population. Their music is often insipid and boring. It's emotionally cloying without any real depth. It's cutting edge in the dullest way imaginable. To me the fact that Coldplay is more popular than Radiohead among the general population is sort of like if The Monkees had been more popular than The Beatles in the 60s. Can you imagine that? No, I would hope not. But it's exactly what's going on today. No longer do people crave the brightest. No longer do people crave music that actually might make them think. Now people just want the most watered down, insipid, recycled music they can lay their ears on. Why do people no longer want to be challenged? Why is it that people want to hear the same thing over and over again?

Really you may think this article is about the worst bands in the world. It's actually just as much about the worst listeners in the world. And judging from album sales figures, you're probably one of many that deserve that title.

I suggest downloading some new music that may be something other than the top 40 garbage you are used to. Challenge yourself! Think! It's not so bad, really.