The Worst Christmas Gift I Ever Received
A Fifth Grade Gift Exchange Turned Me into the World's Greatest Gift Giver
Once Upon a Time...
Follow me down the path leading to my fifth grade Christmas gift exchange. The setting is December 1980 in a suburban town outside of Buffalo, New York. The political correctness police hadn't found us so the elementary school could call the event a "Christmas party."
Twenty-five giddy prepubescent kids congregated around the class Christmas tree in anticipation of the gift exchange. Boys and girls huddled in their respective groups in fear of catching cooties from the opposite sex. The teacher stipulated each gift cost $2 or less, be for a boy or girl, and could be a gag gift.
I can't specifically recall the Christmas gift I brought in for the exchange. During that time of my life, my mother's practical gene had rubbed off so I'm sure the gift was either a pair of socks or two giant Hershey bars.
Christmas Gift Exchange Rules
The rules of the gift exchange were simple: one student would choose one gift. After selecting his gift, he selected the next student to pick a gift. This was pre-dirty Santa days. There was no exchanging once the gift had been selected and opened.
The teacher selected the first student to pick the first gift. Student after student chose their gift. Trying not to show my anxiety, I secretly crossed my fingers hoping I'd be next. To my surprise, I was passed up each time.
What About Me?
I felt like one of those uncoordinated kids in gym class waiting to be picked for the dodge ball team. I was always picked for a dodge ball team pretty quickly so why hadn't I been picked to choose a Christmas present?
As I suspected, I was the last one left to choose the last gift under the Christmas tree. I knelt down under the tree but couldn't find anything. I slightly panicked wondering, "Where is my gift!?"
My Christmas gift should have been easy to find but with all the homemade ornaments crafted from white Xerox paper and colored with crayons, it was hard to tell the difference between the last remaining gift and the Christmas ornaments. In the pit of my stomach I thought I was being left out of the gift exchange but then I spied a box with what looked like homemade wrapping paper. It was my Christmas gift!
Sitting on the cold tile floor, I ripped the rectangular package open and found a Crayola Crayon box under the wrapping. The box was light, nothing rattled inside and the suspense was killing me. I opened it up to find... nothing!
"It's over there," one of my classmates called out while pointing to the opposite side of the Christmas tree.
The Worst Christmas Gift I Ever Received
I scooted over to the other side of the tree and found the odd shaped package. It was long and narrow like a toothbrush or pen and wrapped in crinkled white Xerox paper. It didn't make a sound and wasn't too heavy but the size and shape intrigued me.
Opening the package, I controlled my emotions not wanting to be disappointed again. Mimicking Charlie Bucket from "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," I slowly opened a corner of my gift like he slowly opened a candy bar looking for a golden ticket. Not being able to figure out what my gift was, I couldn't control myself and ripped the package open.
And there it was. A red toothbrush with bent bristles and a white, chalky film around the head. At closer inspection, the residue was definitely a mixture of solidified spit and toothpaste.
Yuck! This had to be the worst Christmas gift I ever received, a used toothbrush! (And the grossest, too.)
"The teacher said it could be a gag gift," the classmate who brought the gift told me.
I was red and hot from embarrassment. I felt the used toothbrush gift was a reflection of me and felt awful. Remembering, "It's the thought that counts," I thanked my classmate. Up until now, I've kept this story a secret.
What the Worst Christmas Gift Taught Me
Since that day, I've been careful in selecting Christmas gifts for friends, family and for gift exchanges. I'm one of those people who spends an hour at the Hallmark shop reading every card (and crying over the sappy ones) until I find the right one. The same care goes into my gift giving. I shop with the specific person in mind and purchase (or make) items that reflect a little bit of me.
While the philosophy of "it's the thought that counts" is important, it's the way the gift makes the receiver feel which matters to me. Importantly, I never want anyone to have that awful feeling I had that day in fifth grade when I received the worst gift ever. Ironically, because of an old toothbrush, my friends and family think I'm the world's greatest gift giver.
Published by JA Huber
Spent a decade in Death Valley, Everglades and Yellowstone Ntn'l Parks and now living happily in Florida working in tourism, editor of SoloTravelGirl.com; traveling alone, not lonely. View profile
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36 Comments
Post a CommentAnd if you can paste my broken line words backwards ..we can continue..this Christmas story not so sad.. nowBut i have to say there were a few classmates wanted to give me theirs gifts .. Hot Wheels cars almost all them .. and my little brother snowman candys bag. .The nuts adorned our Christmas empty cold dinning very good. For years. And yes i wanted my best friend Christmas exchange gift for me .. if she had lend it to me .. in the School bus that ..that terrible day.. ton ever return her it..and run run run with a smile. That's what best friends we are for ..To keep us with our gifts ..great and worst Why couldn't be that day?..
Now i'm gonna say my comment in real time..i remember it..i was 7 years no 9 8 .. 11? was a nuts lil basket but the most strange thing was that since the first time i saw it in the teacher's desk ..i knew it .. the little nuts basket was for me ..And how to eat them..? my teeth were too tiny for it. The basket was from the sour vane girl of the class room to me of course ..But the worst part was at the way back home from school.. My mom ..OMG ..i asked to my best friend to exchange me her exchanged gift .. just to show to my Mommy that my Christmas School little party was incredible great ..My little mommy ..And she gave a beautiful lil doll to my Christmas exchange! She'll get angry with me .. and . .she' ll be mad ..with me ..then with my terrible little brother .. then with me again .. to the world ..ending with the image i didn't want to see ..her sad face .. My mom's strategy to make me feel not so bad about me But i have to say there were a few classmates
irememberit..iwas7yearsno98..11?wasanutslilbasket..butthemoststrangethingwasthatsincethefirsttimeisawitintheteachersdesk..iknewit..thelittlenutsbasketwasforme..Andhowtoeatthem..?myteethweretootinyforit.Thebasketwasfromthesourvanegirloftheclassroomtomeofcourse..Buttheworstpartwasatthewaybackhomefromschool..Mymom..OMG..iaskedtomybestfriendtoexxchangemeherexchangedgift..justtoshowtomyMommyChristmasSchoollittlepartwasincrediblegreat..Mylittlemommy..AndshegaveabeautifullildolltomyChristmasexchange!Shellgetangrywithme..and..shellbemad..withme..thenwithmyterriblelittlebrother..thenwithmeagain..totheworld..endingwiththeimageididntwanttosee..hersadface..MymomsstrategytomakemefeelnotsobadaboutmeButihavetosaytherewereafewclassmateswantedtogivemetheirsgifts..HotWheelscarsalmostallthem..andmylittlebrothersnowmancandysbag..ThenutsadornedourChristmasemptycolddinningverygood.Foryears.AndyesiwantedmybestfriendChristmasexchangegiftforme..ifshehadlendittome..intheSchoolbusthat..thatterribleday..toneverre
What a moment! Glad you survived the pasty fiasco to chalk it up to learning how to give MUCH better gifts. Yikes.
What a moment! Glad you survived the pasty fiasco to chalk it up to learning how to give MUCH better gifts. Yikes.
I do appreciate your great work. Very excellent. Dont miss my article, " Jesus, the Gift to the World" who is the best Gift ever you can have!
Dr. Phil ive been married 26 years my husband went shopping for me last year I am 42 years old an weigh 120lbs my husband bought me a pair of pajamas size 3x now remember i only weigh 120lbs. I can say that was the worst gift i have ever recieved in 26 years. I still have them today. I really thought it was a joke but he thought that was my size. I do believe 3x pajamas is way to big for me. So let someone top this one. MerryChristmas an Happy New Year. From the Johnson family in Vidor Texas
Great description! I sort of wonder what alien planet your teacher evolved from, giving 5th graders a chance to play a dirty trick like that! At least all your gifts from that point on just had to be an improvement. BLEAH. What a hideous gift. I think I have a decent sense of humor, but that just seemed like bad manners to me.
This really made an impression on me. You wrote about this so vividly that I felt like I was there, going through the suspense and the humiliation with you. What a powerful reminder that choosing the right gift - or making a genuine effort to find one that is special - is important.
What a great article! Is it not amazing how thoughtless kids can be when left to their own devices, how little parents take care to teach kids about giving gifts rather than getting them, and how shortsighted educators can be when not foreseeing the far reaching consequences their actions (or lack thereof) might have?