The Worst Christmas Gifts for Students & Urban Dwellers

Now that the holidays are coming around, you're probably being bombarded with suggestions for Christmas gifts. Well, don't get carried away. Read my suggestions and keep these errors in mind: it's better than making them yourself. What follows: a list of gift-giving disasters, in order of magnitude from minor debacle to deadly catastrophe. Pay close attention. You don't want to step into any of these messes!

Totally Wrong, Lousy, No Good, Very Bad Christmas Gifts for Students and Urban Dwellers

The Large White Elephant. What do students and city dwellers not have in abundance? That's right, space! If you're buying anything remotely decorative or impractical, consider first these two important questions:

- 1. How much space does it take up?

You might think a large and somewhat expensive vase is gorgeous, but your apartment- or dorm-inhabiting friend has no place and no use for it. It'll end up regifted, stuck in a storage locker, or simply destroyed by someone tripping over it.

- 2. How much does the recipient actually want it?

Say your friend is a crazed Star Trek fan, and the vase is a replica of one from a favorite Star Trek episode -- that's a point in its favor. It's easier to make room for an object you really want. But generic gifts do no one any good. Which leads us to...

The Gender-Based Generic Christmas Gift. "Ah," you say to yourself, "my niece is a woman, and women like perfume." But you're making a serious error of attribution: after all, there are more than three billion women in the world, and most of them don't! Your niece might or might not like that particular perfume, or even enjoy fragrances at all. Find out a little more about her particular habits before springing for something she'll find useless. Same goes for men and sports-related gifts, or other cliches.

But it's even worse when you buy either of the above and it's...

The Unwanted Luxury. Be sensitive to others' needs. Students, especially, live on a tight budget. When your Christmas gift recipient is having trouble buying food, it's callous and insensitive to buy them something pricey and impractical. Fancy china, designer handbags and home deco, and Franklin Mint collectibles are all examples of presents that could remind a student or low-budget city dweller of their poverty, and resent it. Every time they see your gift, they'll think "that money could have been spent on food..."

If you know your recipient is in a hard patch, consider buying them a gift card to a gourmet grocery store - they'll be able to enjoy the nice things in life without feeling guilty. Unique art can be an exception to this rule: it's not a casual luxury but represents a lot more thought and care on the part of the buyer and the artist. Designer clothing goes out of style in a year, but a unique art piece lasts a lifetime.

The Electronic Elephant. Anything that requires the user to sign a contract or pay bills can be a bad drain on resources. Never buy a cell phone, other than prepaid - and if it's prepaid, you'd better buy a generous starter card! - or a Tivo or satellite receiver that needs a contract, or anything else in this category, unless it's on a wish list.

And never subscribe anyone to a book club or coffee club, unless you also pay out the term of the membership. A visit from a collections agency is worse than getting coal in your stocking.

Finally, the worst surprise Christmas gift ever:

The Live Animal. Springing a cat, dog, reptile or rodent on someone unprepared is the worst possible thing a gift buyer can do, and students and apartment dwellers are unlikely to have the resources to handle it. Dorms and apartments often do not allow pets, and so your gift can get your friend in trouble or leave the animal homeless! It's a horrible idea all around - unless the gift recipient has asked you personally for a pet, and you know they're prepared to care for it.

Pets are care-intensive, like children. Think of it as an unexpected pregnancy -- the Christmas gift that nobody wants to cope with.

Happy giving.