The Worst of 'One Life to Live' in 2011

There's no question that "One Life to Live" was a textbook case of what TO DO on a soap. Unfortunately, it also made some stunningly awful blunders. Here's a recap of the five absolute worst things Llanview had to offer in 2011.

Worst News: One Life to Live Gets Cancelled - Twice
Obviously, it hurt once hearing the news that ABC was axing the only soap to actually GAIN viewers in 2011. And then, like angels from the heavens, a savior appeared in the form of production company, Prospect Park. This scrappy, ambitious company was going to revolutionize soaps and the way we watched them by putting "One Life To Live" and "All My Children" online. Sadly, too many obstacles (read: money) kept the venture from getting off the ground and once again, millions of soap fans were left to mourn the loss of a show that made us laugh and cry for 44 amazing years.

Worst Couple: Jessica and Ford
If "One Life to Live" wanted to put Jessica and Ford together (Bree Williamson and David Gregory), surely there was a better way than the methods they used. The town scumbag had already ruined poor Langston (Brittany Underwood) when he set his sights on "Teen Jess" (don't ask), taking advantage of a mentally ill woman who believed she was 17 years old (again, don't ask). Jessica wound up pregnant from their unfortunate encounter and what followed was "One Life To Live's" Worst Story for 2011 (see below).

This pairing has been disturbing on so many levels. Ford was a sleazy opportunist who took advantage of Jessica for his own selfish gain, yet, the Powers That Be wanted the audience to believe Ford was a changed man and justified all of his despicable acts as grand sacrifices for his son. Many viewers felt Ford physically violated Jessica the night the baby was conceived, then further desecrated her by allowing her wicked alter, Tess, to keep Jessica prisoner. The Powers That Be were determined to push this couple on the audience, even going so far as to have Jessica "forgive" Ford for taking advantage of her when she had amnesia. This couple's sordid origins don't give them any rooting value and mostly, they just leave a bad aftertaste.

Worst Exit: Marty Saybrook
Marty (Susan Haskell) was one of the characters who made an indelible stamp on "One Life To Live." As part of the landmark gang rape storyline, Haskell helped make "One Life To Live" Must-See-TV in the mid-90's. Todd (Roger Howarth) and Marty were inextricably linked and their portrayers had resisted efforts to put their characters together (Howarth supposedly objected so much, he quit in 1995).

After an icky storyline that had an amnesiac Marty involved in a "rapemance" (a term credited to "TV Guide Canada's" Nelson Branco) with Trevor St. John's, Todd, the character seemed to stall. She was turned into a diversion for the John/Natalie romance and it was clear The Powers That Be had run out of steam for the character. Once it was announced Haskell had been let go, Marty turned full-on crazy. Tampering with DNA tests, kidnapping babies and murdering shrinks became all in a day's work for Marty.

In a lame, lazy twist, Todd spirited Marty out of town by revealing her presumed dead husband, Patrick, was alive and well (unbelievably, "One Life to Live" didn't ask Thorsten Kaye to resume his popular role). Before Marty left, she made Todd promise to tell John he was Liam's father. Huh? To make matters worse, as soon as Marty boarded a plane for an off-screen reunion with her beloved, Roger Howarth was wending his way back to Llanview. Come again? Haskell's departure should have been delayed or rewritten to allow for some type of interaction between Haskell and Howarth. Imagine the fireworks! The viewers were gypped out of what would have been dynamite scenes between these iconic Emmy winning performers who delivered one of daytime's most historic storylines.

Worst Storyline: Jess/Tess/Bess/Wes/Mess
How the same writer who penned the brilliant Two Todds storyline could have dreamt up this Cartoon Network candidate, will go down as one of "One Life To Live's" greatest mysteries. First, Jessica turned into Tess upon learning her beloved Brody (Mark Lawson) had bedded and impregnated (or so we thought) her sister, Natalie (Melissa Archer). Ok, that should have only lasted a few weeks. Oh, no. A distressed Tess then gave way briefly to Bess. But no, that wasn't convoluted enough. Then we had to endure the heretofore unknown Wes. Yes, folks, the lovely Williamson was slinking around town grabbing her crotch, slurping beer and trying to cop a feel on anything in a skirt.

On top of that, as part of some misguided deal with Tess, that lech, Ford, basically held Jessica captive, refusing to get her the psychiatric help she needed. Worse, when Jessica did surface, he provoked Tess into coming back. Still worse was Jessica's nitwit cousin, Starr, who knew all too well the damage Jessica's alters could do. She walked around for weeks in a perpetually pissed-off state about Tess flirting with her boyfriend, when she should have been convincing Ford to let Jessica get the help she desperately needed.

Having Jess pull her alters out of a hat was the lazy way of dealing with Brody and Natalie's betrayal. A far more intriguing storyline would have been to have Jessica grow a backbone and exact a psychological revenge of sorts against her fiancé and her sister. What if Jessica and the love of Natalie's life, John (Michael Easton) had been drawn together into an affair by their mutual pain? That would have gotten Natalie's goat. There were so many more interesting places this story could have gone instead of straight into the toilet.

Worst New Character: Deanna Forbes
It's a tried and true tactic on daytime, primetime, movies, literature, you name it. Cause trouble for the happy couple by introducing a "spoiler," i.e. a third party who will tempt one half of the couple into infidelity. That's all well and good if the spoiler is an interesting character and gets a good story. Dreadful Deanna (Nafessa Williams) couldn't count on either of those. Deanna came to town to get back the boy who got away, James Ford (Nik Robuck). Except he was head over heels for Starr (Kristen Alderson), so history be dammed, he was just not into Deanna. The Powers That Be came up with all sorts of ridiculous reasons to put the yawn-inducing Deanna in James' orbit, each one more obvious, ludicrous and boring than the last. Deanna being a one-note character was compounded by her portrayer's obvious inexperience on-screen. Mercifully, Deanna was swept out of Llanview almost as fast as she swept in.

BONUS: Biggest Waste of Talent: Gina Tognoni
When "Guiding Light" was cancelled in 2009, predictably, several of that show's stars scattered to other soaps. Multiple Emmy winner, Kim Zimmer, slithered back into Echo Di Savoy's unsavory shoes without missing a beat, landing smack dab in the middle of a juicy storyline opposite Erika Slezak, proving you CAN go home again.

Zimmer's "Guiding Light" co-star, Tognoni, played the unscrupulous Dinah on "Guiding Light," scooping up two Daytime Emmys in the process. After Guiding Light's demise, it seemed only natural she'd return to her stomping grounds at "One Life To Live," where she'd originated the role of Kelly Cramer. While it seemed like a good idea in theory, Tognoni's long-awaited return just didn't pan out. The first time around, Kelly was a kooky, fun-loving gal. During Tognoni's absence from the show, Kelly became a bland, stereotypical soap heroine, losing the quirky traits that made her so intriguing to watch. Kelly spent months moping around after nuJoey (Tom Deegan), who was married to the duplicitous Aubrey (Terri Conn). Every scene was Kelly agonizing over when to tell him his new bride was a gold-digging con artist. The show just couldn't seem to come up with a compelling story that capitalized on Tognoni's considerable charm and talent.

Strangely enough, things started to pick up for Kelly when she found herself in an unlikely romance with stoic cop, John. Sadly, when the show was cancelled, The Powers That Be needed to move some characters off the canvas to make room for returning favorites. After being sliced and diced by crazed Marty, Kelly was given a quickie reunion with Joey before they were shipped off to London. You can't help but wonder what direction Kelly might have gone in had the show not been cancelled. Natalie, John and Kelly could have made for an intriguing triangle. Guess we'll never know.