The Worst Part

"I have known," she said.

"And have you seen me happy knowing?"

"I have been happy ignoring it."

"And I have been hurt because of it."

"Your problems should not be mine."

"And mine are all yours."

"And yours are all stupid!"

"And stupid because of you!"

"No, you're stupid, that's why!"

"Is that a reason, must you have a reason?"

"It's the way I consider things."

"Then, consider me!"

"Like I never do!"

"But you never show it!"

"But I always do..."

"Do what?"

***

2

I have failed her but this time with a painful inner scream within the heart that doesn't leave.

The change is like an awesome thunder-strike over the eyes. They get watery from the sight, happy from the excitement of seeing her smile. She's confused and lost and hurt. Others have done this to her. In this way, I have failed. I let them do it to her and I know I shouldn't but I blame myself. Where else to put the blame? I was the heart-witness that let it happen, that didn't intervene to say....

I was never there for her and she was always around me.

3

"So, how do we proceed?" I asked.

"I leave and you never follow."

"And what of my stubborn feet?"

"Get heavy bricks!"

"You think the heaviest building standing on top of me will stop me?"
"Or a slap on the face!"
"Slap me then!"
"I'll reserve my affection for people I care about."
"And do you?"

"Do I what!"

"Care!"

"This is stupid!"

"You do, that's the best part!"

"I do but that's the worst part!"

"Why?"

"Because I can't stop!"

"And I don't want you to."

"I don't know why that is."

"And that's the worst part..."