The Worst Thing About Being Deaf?

Growing up as a deaf person, I have noticed one common thought that hearing people share in general when they try to imagine the worst thing about being deaf. It always seems to come down to not being able to hear music. If not music, the birds singing or the sounds of raindrops hitting the roof of your house, among other sounds. While I can imagine how lovely birds signing must sound, it is very far from what upsets me about being deaf.

I am a deaf individual who basically lives in the hearing world. Most of my friends and my entire family are hearing. Thus I frequently find myself in a group of hearing people engaging in a spoken conversation that I cannot be a part of. Not having the ability to contribute in a group conversation constantly leaves me feeling depressed or upset. I think some hearing people seem to take the ease of conversing with people for granted and for some reason seem to think not hearing music would be the worst thing about being deaf.

I can honestly say that I have never found myself distressed over the fact that I can't hear music. I never find myself in tears over this. In fact, I can even enjoy music through vibrations. There's such a variety of vibrations that you can experience if you actually pay attention to it. I have the tendency fo dating boys who are musicians or downright obsessed with music, so I occasionally end up at a show to watch my boyfriend's band. I even dance to the music. Yes. Dance to music that I can't hear. Now that's a sight to see!

For almost every sound I cannot hear, I can see or feel something that is associated to the sound. When you hear a bird sing, I see a bird puffing its feathery chest up and down. While you listen to waves crashing into each other, I see the multicolored water splashing and rushing toward my feet. As you listen to the wind blowing by, I feel the wind blowing through my hair. While the cat purrs heavily against you, I feel the purring rumbling through the cat's body as I pet it. When you hear music, I feel it roar through every part of my body.

But when people talk and laugh over something I cannot understand. It's very difficult to find something to appreciate while being left out of something I'd love to be able to be a part of. I often end up feeling depressed when I'm standing with hearing friends while they suddenly burst out laughing and I'm the only one who doesn't laugh. That, my friends, is the worst thing about being deaf.