The Yellow Envelope

The gentle spring breeze filtered through the windows and caressed Anna's face. She was grateful for the warmth since the winter months had been particularly harsh that year. She gazed out to see the shadows of the oak leaves dance upon her plastic patio furniture. Doves and whippoorwills could be heard in the distance as they played their seasonal mating songs. It was a calm and enjoyable day.

So much so, that the idea of going to check in on her grandfather did not hold much appeal. The elderly gentleman only lived next door but he was such a cantankerous old cuss that she cringed at the thought. Anna had come to accept his rantings about how the world had gone to 'hell in a hand basket' and that it was nothing like 'the old country'. She was used to his cursing in his native German about everything from the electric bill to how disrespectful the family was to him. She was even assured that somehow including herself, his only caretaker.

But Wilhelm Nogerie was not a kind man and never seemed to have a kind word for anyone. As Anna begrudgingly pulled herself away from the kitchen table, she often thought how her grandmother had put up with the grouchy centenarian.

Nana Marie had been such a sweet and soft spoken soul. She had never uttered a severe word to anyone in all the time Anna had known her. The pairing of the two had always seemed so foreign to Anna and most of her family. Her grandmother seemed to be the only one that could make 'Willie', as he was often called , happy. He grumbled a lot back then but not half as much as he did now. The majority of the family ran in the other direction when it meant dealing with Papa Willie in any way.

Now it fell all on the slender shoulders of Anna. Anna Powell was the only child of Beatrice Nogerie Powell. She had never known her father since he died in the Vietnam War. But that never stopped her maternal grandfather from running his memory into the ground. Papa Willie was never fond of Cliff Powell, especially due to the fact that he was an Irishman. As a child, she had listened to her mother's stories of how he had swept her off of her feet when she was just 16.

"Oh my girl, when those green eyes looked upon me. Well, I just melted like warm butter!" Bea laughed," I would have taken to a life of crime just to be with him!"

Instead, she eloped with the young man and lived a life of happy poverty as a military bride. She was never the same after the officer came to the door that day in 1963. Anna was only a year old then. But she came to re-live each memory as if they were her own.

She brushed her thick brown hair back into a ponytail and slipped on a pair of canvas sneakers. Although she had the facial features of her German ancestry, Anna definitely was her father's daughter. She was lean and tall with dark hair and green eyes. Instead of the chubby hands of her mother and grandparents, she had the long lithe hands of a man she had never known. Her mother often commented that she had the hands of a concert pianist.

She shuffled the array of papers and photos that were scattered across the table. Her fingers brushed across one picture of a handsome blond soldier, standing tall in his German military uniform. His steel blue eyes locked on the photographer as if he were ready to kill on demand.

"The girls must have swooned over this one," she smiled.

Anna had been working on her family tree for the past three years. It had been difficult at times since most of her family's records had been destroyed in Germany during World War II. She had finally surrendered to paying an on-line company to track the elusive paperwork needed to finish her mother's family. It wasn't as if Papa Willie was going to be any help.

"What are you doing that for?" he bellowed, "Waste of time if you would ask me, not like you would though."

She lingered a while longer on the photograph of the flaxen-haired soldier. Then she slipped it in the pocket of her jeans, thinking that maybe her grandfather would know something. Maybe it would put him in a good mood to remember the old country.

Anna slammed the warped door shut since it was the only way it would shut. She kept thinking of having it replaced but that was all if ever was, just a thought.

"Ya know, one of these days you're going to slam that thing and it's gonna fall down!"

She glanced up to see the hairy legs and knobby knees of Cal, the local mailman, bouncing up her porch steps. They had gone to school together and he always had a warm smile for all of his customers.

Anna grinned, "Warm enough for those fashionable gray shorts of yours?"

He took ahold of the hem and curtsied," Post Office issue, straight off the walkways of Paris."

Cal handed a stack of envelopes that all resembled bills. As she scanned through them, attempting to find the most urgent, Anna noticed a larger one sticking out. She pulled it slowly noticing the address and her eyes lit up.

"Got something interesting?" Cal inquired while searching his bag for the next bundle.

"Ah, it's nothing. Just something I ordered a while back. Do you have Papa's mail? I'll save you a trip," she spoke as she shoved the mail into the screen door. She didn't want to fight the door again. Most importantly, she didn't want to take it with her to risk 20 questions with her grandfather.

"Here ya go. And how is 'the Grinch" today?" he grinned.

Anna cocked her head at him and gave him a cautioning of look that was reserved for only the closest of friends.

"My grandfather is doing quite well, thank you. And you better not let him catch you saying that,"she warned.

Cal laughed and waved goodbye while bouncing off to the next house. Anna could do nothing but shake her head.

The front door of her grandfather's small brick house was open. The metallic screen door was scratched and the screen was partially torn. The small porch was quite nondescript with hanging pots that now held artificial flowers, faded from the sun.

She knocked briefly before entering the darkened living room. It wasn't as if he would have known if she had knocked or not. Willie could hardly hear anymore at age 102 and was never one for etiquette.

"It's about time you got here!Wo ist mi mittagess??" the old man demanded.

"Well hello to you to Papa. Here's your mail and I will get your lunch. Did you sleep well?"

He just grunted and stared at the small pile of bills. Even though he had lived in the U.S. for over 40 years, Papa Willie still had a tendency to lapse back to his native German.

Anna began the ritual of preparing the lunch that she had prepared every day. The elderly gentleman was one of routine and everything had to be in its place. She assumed it was due to his time in the military. But now it helped in not confusing him in his advanced age.

Anna remembered the time when she had hired a housekeeper who had a tendency to move his things about. He just knew that the poor woman was stealing from him. It was easier for everyone that she took care of him. There was an almost a comfortable grind that the two had fallen into. She was assured that this was something that happened to all adult children who take on the arduous task of caring for aging parents. The only problem was that her parents were no longer alive and she had become the responsible party for an aging grandfather.

When Anna returned with his lunch, she found the old man napping in the tired looking recliner. She pulled the wooden dinner tray that he always used as a coffee table. After removing the array of scribbled notes, T.V. directory and an array of drink glasses, she put down his plate.

"Papa, wake up. Your lunch is here," she spoke softly.

She didn't want to startle him or she would be wearing the coleslaw. Anna gently pushed the tray towards his legs as the old man roughly aroused. He pulled himself up by the recliner's arm and inspected what had been set before him.

"Sie weurden immer der koch," he murmured.

She was proceeding to go through his bills when she heard the rare compliment.

" Danke Papa," she stammered, "Grossmutter Marie taught me."

He actually smiled as he thought as his wife. Anna had to smile herself to see him actually lost in a happy thought. She also thought that it would be a perfect time to ask him about the photograph of the soldier.

"Papa? Can I ask you something?" she demurely inquired as she quietly placed the photo within his reach.

Although his sight was very diminished, he saw the photo. He gently grasped it and held it quite close to his face while holding his spectacles so that he could focus.

" Do you know him, Papa? Die soldat?" She had hoped speaking in German would soften him to comply with her request.

His antique eyes narrowed and then quickly widened. He threw the crumbled picture down as if it was emitted a nasty odor.

"No, nie! I do not know this soldat! Where did you get this?"

Anna was startled at his response. It almost appeared as if he were frightened of it.

"I found it in a box of Mama's things. I didn't mean to..."

"Ich habe ein sureckgreifen das bett," Papa Willie commanded as he pushed himself to a standing position.

"Alright Papa, I'll put you to bed. Papa, I'm sorry."

He waved her away as he struggled down the narrow hallway.

"Es ist mir schuppe," he spoke angrily.

After a good hour had passed, Anna had been able to calm her grandfather down. She tidied up the small house and walked back to her own house, leaving him to his dreams.

All the time, she wondered what she had said to make him so angry. What was in that picture that stirred him to actually cuss at her? He had always been grouchy but never had he actually cursed at her.

Anna was exhausted after dealing with her small soap opera. She collapsed in an easy chair in her own living room and dropped her mail on the blond colored table next to the chair.

She sat wondering what had actually occurred, running the afternoon over in her mind like a movie. The large yellow envelope, that caught her attention earlier, seemed to beckon once again.

A small tear exposed several pieces of white paper that lay inside. A slight tug gave evidence of her 'wasted time' as her grandfather called it. The genealogy company had come through and in abundance. Sheet after sheet of information on her mother's family provided reading material that lasted far into the night.

Before she had realized, it was after 7, and yet another trip next door was required. It didn't last long though because Papa Willie was still asleep. She made him a sandwich and wrapped it in cellophane. The plate was placed next to a tall glass of tea so that he wouldn't feel a need to search and destroy the rest of the kitchen just for 'something to drink.'

The cool evening gave way to sultry night and still Anna was consumed by her reading. After it was all done, she almost shook with dread. Retrieving the fragile picture once again, she stared into the young but determined eyes of that soldier.

"Grossvater," she murmured.

The morning came early for Anna; too early. Her sleep had been very restless and now she was awake before the sun had even risen. She wondered if Papa Willie was the same.

She pulled on a pair of jeans and a striped blouse. Anna had decided that she had better look presentable when confronting her grandfather about his past. It was definitely not going to be enjoyable and she assured herself that he was probably going to do a lot more cursing than he had yesterday.

"Guten Morgan, Papa," she spoke in German hoping that it would soften his mood, "Guten tag?"

The old man looked as tired as she felt. Apparently, they had both had a rough night.

"Die Enkelin, bitte die tochter,"he spoke softly.

Granddaughter...please?

These were words that Anna had not heard from the old man since she were a child. He never spoke in gentle terms to her. She was prepared for the worst upon entering the small house with her papers in hand. Now she was afraid in a different way. Her grandfather was not a man of gentle words or apologies.

His aging, trembling hand took her pale one and urged her to sit next to him. He seemed to have tears in his faded eyes. Anna had to bite her lip to keep from tearing up herself.

"Annabelle, es tut mir leid. I am so sorreee," he spoke in his best English,"Thar are so many theenks that I must tell you."

"It's alright Papa, I understand," she patted his fragile hand.

"Who would know that I would leeve to be such an old man," he laughed quietly,"I expected to bee dead a long time ago and take my secrets wit me."

"If you don't want to tell me Papa..."

The old man shook his head in defiance.

"Nie, you will find out sooner or later. Eet might as well bee now,yes? Jest do not hate me too much."

They both nodded in silent agreement. The morning turned into the heated afternoon. Occasionally, Anna would get up and fix the two of them a lunch and then a dinner. It was the first time that she could remember that her grandfather had spoken to her as another person rather than a maid, a cook or the memory of his adoring daughter's mistake in men.

When the sun rose and fell and the darkness dropped down upon the small brick house, the old man and the woman felt exhausted. Rivers of tear soaked pain had poured down both of their pale faces. Truth was harder to swallow than apathy but now that it was done, both of their bodies hinted at a sense of relief.

Anna escorted her grandfather to bed. She poured him his normal glass of water and laid a single thin blanket across his gaunt legs.

"Are too angry wit me, Anna?" He searched her eyes for any sign of compassion.

She smiled sweetly at him.

"No Papa. I could never be angry with you. You did what you had to do. They would have killed both you and Mama Marie if you hadn't. Those were different times and I could never be mad at you for protecting your family."

He smiled and touched her cheek. Would she ever have this kindness from him again? She had to hope.

"Some wut not forgive so easily. You are a gud girl to such an old grouch as me. Or grinch as that mailman calls me,"he laughed.

Anna's eyes grew wide with amazement. Papa Willie nodded quietly in agreement.

"Dah, I know. But that's our leetle secret too, eh?"

"Sure Papa. Good night," she whispered.

"Gute Nacht Anna. Ich liebe dich," Papa Willie spoke as he watched her leave.

"Gute Nacht Papa. I love you too."

The following morning came with yet another perfect spring day. Anna was anxious to see Papa Willie. Though she had discovered horrible things about his past, Anna felt a small bit of hope of learning more about the man that Wilhelm Nogerie was and not just Papa Willie.

The door was shut tight from the night before. She thought that she had tired him out from their long discussion. After pushing the door open, she found the darkness of the house unsettling.

She went from room to room opening doors and windows to allow the warm sun to flood it's light upon the house's interior. Anna couldn't remember being this happy in a while. She thought that she could take Papa Willie to the park to feed the birds.

"Papa! Wake up! You'll sleep the day away!" she called.

Anna pushed open his bedroom door to find her grandfather still in bed. She touched his pajama sleeve to shake him and noticed that he was holding a black and white framed photo of a woman and child.

"He must have fallen asleep with it after I left." She thought to herself.

After a closer inspection, she knew it was a photo of her Grandmother Marie and her mother taken years ago. At that moment, she stopped smiling.

She called once more, "Papa?"

This time Anna didn't have to touch the old man to know. He had finally done what he had wanted to do. In doing so, he could back to the old country and live a peaceful life with his 'mein teurer luber Marie unt Beatrice".

My dear darling Marie and Beatrice.

"Auf Wiedersehen Papa. I will miss you too.".