The Youth of Today: A Lost Generation

The youth of today is often seen and labeled as a lost generation. The real issue is that this generation of youth's is being raised by a generation of lost parents, parents that are so void of common sense skills and what it takes to really be a functional parent. Now do not get me wrong, the reference here is not toward homes where either parents work or homes where one parent is not in the picture, because it is entirely possible to be a quality parent within those non-traditional households. Again, this is referring to the real lack of common sense parenting that is plaguing this supposed lost generation.

You do not need the scapegoat of television programs, movies, video games, and music to crutch on for causes of why the youth of today seem lost. All you need is a mirror so you can take a hard look at how involved you are in their lives and what parenting skills you fail to implement. Oh, we can say we are good parents, but there are quite a few mistakes we can make along the way, which will send our youth right into the arms of their peers and other outside influences.

Have you been consistent with structure, rules, and discipline consequences since your child was young enough to understand and reason right from wrong? Do you yell and belittle and call your child names when they have done wrong? Are you doing everything in your power to help your child develop a strong foundation and well cared for self-esteem? Parenting starts with consistency and involvement.

Have you enacted chores and responsibilities from the time your child could hold a dish and bring it to the sink and assist you with clearing a dinner table? Chores and responsibilities teach a child respect and appreciation for what they have, and for what you do for them. It builds character.

Have you made sure to connect and spend an hour or more daily with your child, and show your interest in their interests, despite your dislike for the latest fad and craze they are into? Do you crutch on the fact that you are a single parent and have no time or it's a two parent working family, and there is no time to spend daily? Make the time, and do what you can with the little time you may have to make it quality and special, because if you are not doing this, you definitely do not have the right to blame outside influences on why your youth is part of the lost generation. Were you a stay-at-home-parent that spent more time doing household chores and running errands that it was like a full-time job anyway? Just because your child was with you all day long, and you made the conscious decision to stay at home, does not mean you utilized the time you had and filled it with quality activities and involvement. It may have meant you were present, but to busy to be involved.

Do you have an open door policy with regards to communication, meaning can your child speak to you openly about every topic they are faced with, and will they get your respect and genuine understanding? Or, do you shut the door on communication because the topics may go against your principles, your morals, your belief, so you shut out the conversation with a disassociated "NO" response? If you cannot be their first source of information, they will search for the answers elsewhere and more often will come up with the wrong answer and a straight path to trouble. There should be no topic you, as a parent, are not willing to discuss or assist in finding the proper and factual answers to.

Do you pass judgment easily when it comes to appearances? You know, for example, if young Andrew came home with hair dyed black, lip pierced, and sporting some new EMO fashion along with his pals Tom and Rich. Would you automatically go into panic mode and chew him out, even though he gets good grades, does not break curfew, and has never treated you or his home disrespectfully? Because if you give into the panic and chew him out, you know it will put up an instant wall and possibly severe your "good" relationship. You have to be able to look at your child and understand that they do try new and sometimes weird things as they form their identities. Take it in stride, joke about it, sure you can let them know you do not care for the new fashion fad, but try to be supportive the best you can without pitching a fit. I mean really, did those hippies of the 60's really turn out all that bad?

Are you really involved in their lives? Really, do you know their favorite song, author, movie, actor, etc? Do you know who their friends are and what their friends' parents are like? Take the time to be involved, and take the time to know your child.

Do you understand that school today is not the same school you remember, and that teachers today are not the same teachers you remember? Our school systems encourage curriculum that is often way out of our children's developmental stages, yet they are expected to rush through it, digest it, and master it. It places a child in a very stressful situation---how do you feel when your job stresses you out or your daily routine stresses you out, or you are expected to handle a workload that may not always be in agreement with your true abilities? Understand that, and you will understand that even when your child brings home a "C" that maybe you need to see if they did all they really could to avoid that grade, and yet the best they could do was a "C". Think about it, they are stressed out in school, stressed out in their circle of peers, and then come home to an environment filled with parents that will chew them out instead of trying to understand them---no wonder they are so lost. As parents, you have to be their cushion to crash down on, and you have to equip them with the common sense tools to deal and cope.

It really boils down to consistent communication and consistent involvement by the parents. The reason the youth of today may seem so lost is a direct reflection of poor parental involvement and the practice of negative parental skill which severe and damage the relationship and bond. Remember, we do not want our children turning to their possibly misguided peers as their first line of defense, which is what we do see happening today; and which is why the youth of today can be labeled a lost generation. Parents are good at making excuses and passing the blame. It's time for parents to ask themselves the hard questions and begin to step up to plate in an effort to reclaim this supposed lost generation.