Theodore Roethke's "My Papa's Waltz" and Robert Hayden's "Those Winter Sundays"

While most of us think back to memories of our childhood and our relationships with our parents, we all have what he would call defining moments in our views of motherhood or fatherhood. It is clearly evident that both Theodore Roethke and Robert Hayden have much to say about the roles of fathers in their two poems as well. While the relationships with their fathers differ somewhat, both men are thinking back to a defining moment in their childhood and remembering it with a poem. "My Papa's Waltz" and "Those Winter Sundays" both give the reader a snapshot view of one defining moment in their childhood, and these moments speak about the way these children view their fathers. Told now years later, they understand even more about these moments.

What the narrator remembers about his childhood is "waltzing" across the kitchen with his father. The narrator is an adult when he writes this poem looking back to this "dance" across the floor as encompassing the feeling of his childhood. His father would come home smelling of whiskey and "waltz" his son around the kitchen. The two of them "romped until pans slid from the kitchen shelf" (Roethke). This hyperbole also shows the silliness of the situation. The mother is not too happy about this little romp as shown by the frown on her "countenance." The fact that the author did not just use the word face seems to say something about the child's more stern relationship with his mother. As they dance, when the boy misses a step his ear scrapes his dad's belt buckle painfully, and finally the father whisks him off to bed. This is obviously a defining moment in his childhood.

Most of us can think of a time when we roughhoused or danced with our fathers, standing on their feet so that we could keep up with the steps. However, in Roethke's portrayal of this scene the reader learns things about fatherhood that are not necessarily apparent. For example, the narrator's father was a laborer. The line "with a palm caked hard by dirt" (Roethke) tells the reader this. His father has been out working and stopped by the bar for a drink or maybe he was drinking whiskey at home. However, he takes the time to participate in a bedtime ritual for his son. This is important. This time of playfulness between father and son is something that his son cherishes. "But I hung on like death" tells us how much he wanted to keep up with his father and is exaggerated to show the playful nature. And even though, the dance becomes somewhat painful when the boy's ear scrapes his father's belt buckle, the boy still holds on. This shows us the way the boy treasured these episodes of silliness with his father. He treasures them even more as he reminisces about them as an adult.

This father's role is one of participation in the life of his son. It may not be the usual participation. Maybe this man does not show up at school plays, etc. However, he does take the time to engage in activities of his own choosing with his son, and his son greatly values the time they spend together. At the end the father "waltzed me off to bed" while the boy was "still clinging to your shirt" (Roethke). Again, the word "clinging" tells the reader how much fun the boy is having. He does not want this moment to end with his dad. This father plays with his son the only way he knows how, somewhat rough, under the disapproving eye of the mother. However, he interacts with his son in meaningful ways that the son remembers throughout his life. Even though it is not the harmonious dance of a well-polished dancer, these dances are moments he will remember his whole life.

In Robert Hayden's "Those Winter Sundays," a particular moment of childhood is remembered as well, although it is not a happy moment. The narrator recalls that is father got up early every day "Sundays too" (Hayden) to make the house warm for everyone else. He would call to his son to get up once the fire was burning, and his son would speak indifferently to him, not understanding what his father did for him. This, sadly, is a defining moment in that the son failed to understand his father.

This father, too, is working class. Phrases like "with cracked hands that ached from labor" (Hayden). However, this father is not remembered in a playful way; the boy does not cherish this memory at all. In fact, he goes to show how little we know as children. This father is a central figure in the boy's life, emphasized by the fact that there is no mother mentioned. However, this man does not play with his children. He provides for them; he does things for them to demonstrate his love. He gets up no matter how tired he is and lights the fire and polishes his good shoes. Apparently, maybe the parents fought because the child seems to guard himself against the "chronic angers of that house" (Hayden). He looks upon his father fondly in the way that he never realized all that his father did for him.

This child, like the last poem, tells the story as an adult. Rather than looking back with fondness of times he shared with his father, he looks back with nostalgia in wishing that he would have treated his father better. The reader knows this because of a phrase like, "No one ever thanked him" (Hayden), including the narrator. The repetition of the phrase "What did I know" (Hayden) further emphasizes the fact that as a kid, he just did not understand what being a father truly is. Calling love's offices "lonely" and "austere" is further proof that his father was unappreciated in all that he did for his family.

So, what does Robert Hayden say about being a father? He says that many times fathers may not express their emotions for their children, but they do the things that need to be done. They work to support their families and they complete tasks, no matter how tired or cold they are, that benefit their children. They do so without thanks, even with children who speak "indifferently" towards them, and they do so because they love their children. By reflecting back on this experience as an adult, Hayden gives the reader the chance to mend his/her ways before it is too late-to appreciate our fathers for all that they do.

Although Theodore Roethke and Robert Hayden have very different experiences in childhood to write about, the overall message is appreciation of their fathers. Roethke's narrator appreciates that even though his father is not a polished dancer, he takes the time to roughhouse and dance with him as a boy. Even though it hurts a little, it is a fun moment between father and son. Hayden's narrator remembers what his father did for him every morning-lighting the fire and polishing his shoes-and has great regret that he didn't appreciate his father more for doing this things. However, Hayden gives us the chance, with this poem, to appreciate our fathers more.

Works Cited

Roethke, Theodore. "My Papa's Waltz."

Hayden, Robert. "Those Winter Sundays."