Therapists "Discover" the Secret to Happiness

This morning, as I gulped down cup after cup of coffee and smoked one cigarette after another in an attempt to overcome the ravages of being separated from my chemicals by a night's sleep, I came across an article on the BBC's Health page titled "Misery: The Secret To Happiness." "At last," I thought, "someone (in all likelihood a purveyor of one form of misery or another) has found a way to torture logic in such a manner as to inspire the miserable to see that, as the owners of the secret to happiness, the fact that their misery makes them miserable was all their own fault.

For a time, I savored the title, my cursor poised over the link to the article, and speculated on how many times we've all been exposed to the idle rich singing the praises of hard labor, or politicians extolling the value of being virtuous. Finally, I clicked the link, fully expecting to find another example of down-is-up-speak propagated by some group or individual whose only experience with misery was when "Who's Who" spelled their name wrong.

I polished my poison-pen mentally, poured more coffee, lit another cigarette, and began composing in my mind a scathingly brilliant, satirical article (based on what I expected to find) as the page loaded. An emotional roller coaster followed as my eyes scanned the page and my brain absorbed the gist of the article. First, massive disappointment as I realized my hopes of heaping ridicule on some "have" for explaining why the "have-nots" should be happy were dashed. The article was actually science, sort of. Then, my spirits soared as I realized the inherent absurdity of this article and the report upon which it was based. The poison-pen would not have to suffer the frustration of a furious polishing only to be put away unused after all.

You see, according to this article about a report published in the "Journal of Marital and Family Therapy" by some therapists at California State University, Northridge, and Virginia Tech, it is the expectation of eternal bliss in relationships that causes misery when things don't go as planned. As our friends at Hyundai would say, "Duh!" I hope the therapists didn't spend an inordinate amount of time or money on whatever research led them to this brilliant conclusion. Anybody's Grandma could have filled them in on this in five minutes, along with the possible suggestion of a different title such as "Relationships: The Secret To Misery."

The article then goes on to cite the report's authors as stating, ". . . healthcare professionals may not be helping the situation. The field of mental health perpetuates this myth [of blissful relationships] with the very concept of 'mental health,' which implies a state without suffering." Another "Hyundai" moment. We've had "ologists" and psychiatrists of every flavor swarming around for over 150 years and we're still all screwed up. Grandma could have told them that too.

Finally, there is the solution proffered by the authors of this Journal Report. The report suggests that ". . .mindfulness, a Buddhist meditation technique," will help ease the pain of realizing we don't live in La-La Land. Grandma would put this together in just three words "get over it!"

Okay, maybe "inherently absurd" is a little strong. Perhaps the authors involved didn't know that The Buddha spelled all this out twenty-five hundred years ago, and maybe they just don't spend enough time with Grandma. Maybe the BBC ran the article in the "Health" section because they don't have a "See We Can Learn If You Give Us A Few Millennia" section. Or, maybe it's past noon and I've switched from coffee to Rum and I'm feeling more forgiving.