There is a Growing Need for Real Community

There is an American myth of rugged individualism, sort of a John Wayne ridding off into the sunset. This myth is a self-sufficient, independent individual capable of making his own way through the wilderness. With no more than a pistol and a can of beans, this rugged individual must be capable of "pulling himself up by his boot straps." Though we live in an age of technology, the myth still lives. In fact, technology takes away the need to interact with our neighbors, and perpetuates the isolation most people are feeling. Some are so good at masking this isolation that it is buried deep below the conscious level. We don costumes of the urban cowboy or preppie and wear our Lone Ranger mask through out the dream we call our reality.

A true sense of community is found very infrequently these days. We label church, synagogue, neighborhood, professional association and family as community. This is a misnomer. Though some churches try; most are pious and judgmental of the individual who shares their pew. In some families, shame impedes individual growth. In a true community we share the one thing we have in common and that is: our humanity. In a real community one is able to share their weakness and not fear they will be preyed upon. It is also a place that allows just enough friction so we are capable of moving forward.

Despite our "age of communication," few of us really communicate honestly with one another. We avoid those we have excluded and live in "pseudo-communities" avoiding conflict (even health conflict) as much as possible. Most of our time is spent in noisy rumblings, and we cannot hear each other's pain. In many situations it is frowned upon to be open and honest. "TMI" (too much information) is often shouted at those who opt to communicate openly. Many individuals need to pay to participate is support groups in order to express their grief, and others fear jealous retaliation if they express their joy. So, we go down our designated path, living a mediocre existence. Some are very lucky, they have experienced an awakening, and now strive to meet with their mutual imperfections and become the Velveteen Rabbit. Yes, one could say they rub the fur off one another until they become real. Like the geologist they turn common stones they become priceless gems.

Most groups are exclusive. That is others are barred from participation because they are different in some manner. One form of community that accepts individuals unconditionally are Twelve Step groups. This is someplace an individual can go and actually get credit for breathing. Dr. Bob Smith and Bill Wilson opened themselves to each other and allowed the other to seep in. As these two cells merged they formed one of the biggest movements in history: Alcoholics Anonymous. This type of bonding is what creates something larger than the individual. Thus they can collectively experience a power greater than each individual. Most life forms require a permeable barrier for growth. Unlike our dead cities that resemble building blocks stacked upon one anther for expansion, the human condition needs real growth.

Until we can live in a community that has no outcasts we have no real community. Community requires commitment. That is a commitment to co-exist despite differences. We need to appreciate each other's differences not cast aspersions or scapegoat them. Two or more individuals joined together are more likely to form a realistic view than those operating alone. A community must have a mission or a purpose. Without a collective purpose, humans revert to their primitive fight or flight response. Marriage and families offer great opportunities for community as long as they don't become totalitarian. A real community fosters interdependence with all members in put being equal. If one is appointed to be a group leader, one could also be crucified when the group falters. Real community is fragile and never a stable entity.

Community needs to be a safe place to come together and "let down our guard." It is a place where we can learn to re-spond rather than re-act. In a committed community we learn to stretch our capabilities, not take our toys home because we are tired of the game. There is not taking sides or dividing into cliques, or need to control. It is a place where we can "think outside of the box;" a place where the Holy Spirit can enter and perform the task of making us whole.

.