There Is No Such Thing as Cookie Cutter Kids

I have seen the parenting books and television shows, I have read article after article about parenting for all the stages children go through. I have picked up some handy tips and tricks, but I've also learned that there is no such thing as cookie cutter kids. Each and every child is an individual from the moment they are born all the way through becoming adults.

It doesn't matter if you have one child or a dozen, each of those children have their own personality and they will be who they are despite your rigid parenting book methods of raising them. The real trick to parenting is to know who your child is and embrace their individuality. This means coming up with disciplinary actions, educational tools and even household routines that work for their individual personalities.

I have two boys -- two boys, now teenagers who are four years apart in age and light years apart in behavior, interests and personality.

Good Babies vs. Bad Babies

Of course no babies are actually bad babies, but the experience you have with one baby is not going to be the same with the next. When I had my oldest I was young, I wasn't prepared and I was sure that my baby hated me. He had his days and nights mixed up and it seemed that I spent most of my time crying with him. He wasn't a bad baby, he was an individual and as he aged he became a friendly, smiley and fun baby that was a pleasure to be around.

On the other hand my youngest son was a cinch to take care of; he slept well and developed a routine early. Maybe this was due to my experience in part, but mostly it was simply his personality. The so-called "good" baby became a holy terror as he aged. He cried if anyone but his Dad or I held him, he wasn't a pleasant baby and he was a clingy toddler. Again not really a bad baby, just different from what I was expecting.

Kids

My oldest son was low maintenance; he would occupy himself playing for hours without needing me to hover over him. My youngest wanted all of my attention all the time. He didn't play alone and wanted me, his dad or his brother to play with him and dote on him all the time.

I worried when my youngest started school because he had continued to be a kid who wanted his own way all the time. Disciplining him was a matter of catching him first. I just knew I'd be getting calls from his teacher every day. Surprisingly, school made a huge difference in my youngest son's behavior.

My oldest was the one who surprised me; he was still fun and funny but he was also constantly getting in trouble at school. He wasn't "bad" but he was an individual, and he had a personality that just couldn't be contained and remain quiet and attentive for so many hours each day.

Teens

As teenagers, my boys have once again moved in opposite directions. My oldest is a musician; he likes tattoos and piercings, and frightening-looking girls. My youngest is a farm kid. He rides horses and raises cows, he's happiest when he's outdoors and loves fishing and hunting.

Each of them have also come into their own and developed their personalities over the years. No matter that they are brothers and have been raised in the same household, they are completely different.

You can't raise a child strictly based on what a book says. Each child will reach milestones on their own schedule. You will find disciplinary measures that work for each child and you will also watch the developing kindness and curiosities that each child displays with wonder as you realize just how different they are. The many phases of childhood occur differently in each child and you never know what to expect from day to day.

Toss out the idea of a cookie cutter kid and realize that even siblings are individuals, nurture their differences and help them develop into individual adults.

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