There was a Time
when my smile was true
when my "fine" in response
to "How are you"
was real
There was a time
when being with you
meant relaxing and caring
When I didn't flinch whenever you moved.
There was a time
when I heard your car drive up
and I ran to the door
with a smile and a kiss
and not a small curse word
because dinner isn't ready
or I haven't had time to pick up the living room
There was a time
when I looked at you and smiled
because I loved you so much
and I knew you loved me
I was cherished
Then you started drinking
and now when you look at me
instead of love I see hate
anger, an uncontrollable rage.
There was a time
when you got upset
I would ask what was wrong
because I knew it wasn't me
but now its always me
something I did
or didn't do
or said
or didn't say
There was a time
when I thought I would die old
in my sleep
being a grandma
instead
I lie in my hospital bed
struggling to live
fighting to hang onto this life
that you've beaten out of me
They say I won't make it
I'm not even forty
I lie here and dream
trying to remember who I used to be
trying to remember what I used to like
things I wanted to do
things I could do
trying to remember
how it felt to be loved
there was a time....
Published by Elisa Ashley
Elisa is currently very heavy into writing, living and loving with the man of her dreams, Matthew Austin. View profile
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5 Comments
Post a CommentWell written, I only hope that this poem is not autobiographical.There are too many women who hide their scars until they cannot, because it is a broken bone.
Amazingly well written. Your poem packs a punch. I especially like the way you play with words in
"something I did
or didn't do
or said
or didn't say".
There is so much I want to say, but what are words but a mere sound, that cannot convey how I am feeling now?
Insightful poem about how love goes from seemingly perfect to cold and abusive.
Oy Vey!!! Deep...very nice!