There's More to Tequila Than Big Shoes and a Worm

How many of you envisioned Pee Wee Herman dancing in his big shoes? Until today that and the image of a white worm lolling around the bottom of the bottle was the extent of my tequila experience. I knew it was made from agave plants because we saw lots of them on a trip out west. Of course the ones we were looking at were not the ones in tequila. Of the208 agave species only the blue agave is processed for tequila.

The basic knowledge for producing tequila came from the Aztecs who made a fermented drink from the agave. When the conquering Spanish forces ran out of brandy and for obvious reasons couldn't get it delivered via Fed-Ex they decided whatever the Aztecs had was better than nothing. It was about 1600 when Don Pedro Sánchez de Tagle, the Marquis of Altamira started to mass produce the elixir and it only took the government 8 years to catch on and start taxing it. What is recognized as tequila today wasn't actually mass produced until the 1800's.

You'd think by now there would be some American heavy metal grinding away in Mexican fields churning up the agave and tossing it into giant tanks at a rate that would make your head spin and ensure everyone's thirst was slaked but you'd be wrong. There are no Ford 455's down there just a bunch of men referred to as jimadores who meticulously maintain the fields until just the right time for harvest. And knowing what that time is is exactly why they are invaluable to the process. If it's a little too early the plant won't have made enough sugar, too late and it will have used it up shooting a 20 foot flower stalk skyward.

The jimadores harvest the bulb at the base of the plant (pina's) which resembles a pineapple; prying it out of the soil with what looks like an oversized chisel. The pinas are roasted in giant ovens the size of your living room for up to seventy hours. After that they are shredded and pressed to release the nectar from the fiber. This musto ferments in steel or wood vats so the sugars will convert to alcohol. Each company has its own special and highly secretive yeast that aids in the fermentation process. After a set number of days in these open vats the tequila is distilled; the first time yields a milky white liquid, the second clear silver tequila.

Mexico passed legislation limiting "real tequila" production to certain geographical locals in Mexico, namely Jalisco. While there are only 100 distilleries in Mexico making tequila there are over 2000 brand names due to larger corporations buying the original product in bulk, importing it, and packaging it as their own brand. Because of this funnel effect you can find a distillery number on your bottle of tequila. This also means many brands come from that same exact distillery. Perhaps you might want to keep that in mind the next time you are holding a bottle of $80.00 tequila that was alongside a $20.00 bottle with the same number.

Remember how I said the Mexican government found a way to tax the tequila. Well they had also found a way to create more jobs for their people in their own country by passing an additional law that all tequila produced in Mexico had to be bottled in Mexico. But don't worry; we didn't let them get away with that. In January of 2006 a trade agreement was reached with Mexico that allowed the U.S. to continue bulk importing, saving several hundred American jobs and ensuring we'd have some people jumping the boarder to come and pick our vegetables.

Tequila cannot be less than 51% blue agave; anything under that is sold as mezcal. Tequila is most often 40% alcohol; about 80 proof. The blue agave grows in high and lowland areas around Jalisco. The west facing highlands allow the plants to get more sun and rain resulting in a higher volume of juice that is fruity. The low lands produce smaller plants which add earthier notes to the end product.

That's it. That's all there is. There is nothing else.

What about the worm? Well I hate to break it to you but there is no worm in tequila. Yes, I'm serious. In fact the people who pride themselves on the production of premium tequila would love for this particular myth to go away. So again I will tell you there is no worm in tequila even though I can feel you doubting me through the page.

Yes I know you can see that bottle and there is very clearly a worm in the bottom of it. Sometimes white, sometimes pink. I'm not disagreeing with you. I know it's there. I can see it too. The thing is; that's not tequila and it's not a worm either. It's a bottle of mezcal and that's a caterpillar. It's actually two different types of caterpillar. Both live in agave plants but are not specific to the blue agave. Because mezcal by definition is not tequila it does not have to be made solely from the nectar of the blue agave but can incorporate the liquid from any of the other 207 species of the maguey plant. In the past a certain number of these poor creatures would end up in the juice that gets fermented. They actually signify an infestation and therefore a lesser quality end product.

The red one (gusano rojo) is the larvae of a butterfly that burrows deep into the heart of the pina and is the more "prized" of the two species mostly due to mythology about being an aphrodisiac. The white or gold one (gusano de oro) is the larvae of a moth that lives in the leaves of the plant. The properties of the alcohol bleach both so that the gold worm takes on a gray pallor and the red becomes a pinking coral hue. Do you think tequila changes your stomach color if you drink it? It sure can turn what comes back out colors.

The whole reason the caterpillar is in the bottle is a marketing ploy from the 1940's and since that time the myths surrounding its origin and special properties have taken on a life of their own. In actuality it started out as nothing more than an impurity that needed an explanation and a reason not to recall product. Today the marketing technique has proven so profitable the caterpillars are raised in a pesticide free environment for the sole purpose of being pickled in the bottle so you can achieve your own mythical status.

Now that really is all there is.