There's Nothing Wrong with Not Wanting Children

I have received more comments than I can count about the fact that I am in my 30's and have no children. Why does anyone think there's something wrong with an adult woman who doesn't want kids?

I can't count the number of times in my life that people have asked me if I want children or have any. When I say no to both, people look at me like I'd just said I kill puppies for fun. It seems appalling to many people that I neither have any children, nor have any desire for them. Why should it be so shocking or distasteful to anyone?

I have never had any interest in children, for various reasons. For one thing, I have health issues and I wouldn't want to risk passing them on to a child. For another, I have never had much maternal instinct, and don't think I would have the patience for a child. I've also been told that due to a miscarriage in my late teens, it's dangerous for me to every try to have a child again. There are many other reasons, but overall kids have just never been something I desired to have in my life.

Over the years many people, mostly women, have looked at me like I was insane for not wanting children. Somehow, even in this age of empowered women who can do and be anything they want, there are still remnants of the old beliefs that a woman must bear children to have worth. Others seem to think that a woman isn't a real woman unless she's had at least one child.

I don't understand why anyone has these ideas anymore, especially when you think about how many unwanted children there are in the world. People are breeding simply because they have the physical equipment to do so, whether they will be good parents or not. I think I should be praised for making the responsible decision to not add another being to this planet. If I ever decide that I desire a child in my life and could be a good parent to one, I'd much rather adopt than give birth.

It seems that part of the mentality that a woman is somehow flawed if she has no children ties into the heavy religious background of many people. Christianity and other faiths place a high importance on breeding. It gives a woman worth, and also increases the numbers within that faith, so long as the parent passes on the religious teachings. Even in our modern age these ideas have not been completely dismissed.

I believe that each woman has the right to do with her body what she sees fit. If she chooses to not bear children, that's her right, and no one should think less of her for it. Also, not breeding because you may not be a fit parent also seems a responsible choice, and no one should be put down for doing such an obviously right thing. No woman she be thought less of because she isn't bearing children.