There's Something About Mary

What is Mary's secret? What is that special 'something' she has that causes men to fall haplessly and helplessly in love with her? Is it her captivating smile? Perhaps. Her sky-blue eyes? Maybe. How about her infectious laugh and bubbly personality?

Well, I have my own theory: It's the script.

And what about Ted (Ben Stiller)? He's a shy, geeky, mop-top high school boy who sticks up for Mary's mentally challenged brother, Warren (W. Earl Brown), during a lunch-hour scuffle. Mary (Cameron Diaz) thanks Ted for his fearless intervention. "Thanks, Ted." Ted, of course, is flabbergasted. "Wow! She knows my name!"

Yesss! The most popular girl in school knows he exists. Woooohoooo! Mary and Ted become fast friends, but here's the real shocker: Mary asks Ted to the prom (!). But then something terrible happens.

While Mary is getting dressed for the prom, Ted needs to use the restroom. After Ted tinkles, he zips himself but his frank and beans get caught in the zipper. Ted leaves Mary's house in an ambulance, and Mary leaves town when her family moves away.

Fast forward 13 years. Ted hires a sleazy detective named Healy (Matt Dillon) to track Mary down (he can't stop thinking about her). Healy finds Mary and falls for her (there's just 'something' about her).

To get Ted out of the picture, he tells him that Mary is a porker who sits in a wheelchair. Ted, being the sweet guy that he is, decides to pay Mary a visit anyway. Ted is P-Oed at Healy when he finds out the truth: "Mary is a fox!"

Ted not only has to compete with Healy to win Mary back, but also a pizza boy (Lee Evans) who is posing as a crippled architect (Mary has a thing for architects and cripples), Brett Favre the football player, and Mary's mysterious, off-screen ex-boyfriend named Woogie (his identity is revealed in the final scene).

All these men are goners over that 'something' Mary has. The question is which of them has that 'something' Mary is looking for?

This movie is a drop-dead funny Farrelly brothers film! Every scene made me wet my shorts! (Thank gawd for the pause button.) The entire cast is electric and has incredible comedic chemistry.

One of my favorite scenes is where Ben Stiller picks up a hitchhiker (Harland Wiliams) and plays straight-man to William's seven-minute abs shtick. I also laughed my pucker-cheeks off when Cameron Diaz mistook Stiller's man-juice for hair-gel and rubbed it in her hair.

Needless to say, this flick is for mature audiences. It is hard to put my finger on why this is such a great film. I don't know...

...there's just 'something' about it.