Things You Cannot Control & Basic Coping Tips

Expending too much energy trying to control things in life that are out of your hands is a terrible waste of time. You cannot control the behavior of others, a traffic jam, a death or the fact that your children wake up with a bad attitude on any given day.

However, you do control the way you react to life's daily drawbacks. You also control your goals and your self-esteem. Here is a look at some things you have no control over and some you do yet tend to overlook or ignore.

What You Don't Control & Most Basic Ways to Cope

Traffic and Bad Drivers - There will always be heavy traffic and people on the road who should have their license revoked. Unfortunately, it is an unpleasant fact. Be the better driver and on the road, set a good example for your family to learn by. Do not add to the roadway madness.

Rude People- Sadly, for whatever reason, many feel they can treat people poorly. These dreadful people demand attention and give no thought to how bad they make others feel. Sorry we have to share this planet with even one of them!

However, just breath deeply, chose to take the high road and kill them with kindness. Rude people normally like a battle and do not know how to behave without confrontation. Let them battle themselves.

Weather - Maybe it poured on your wedding day or you missed the concert of the year because of an ice storm. Weather is another fact and despite Doppler technology, which can only warn you; you have absolutely no control over what the weather is going to do.

Let it go and opt to find a positive aspect, however small that may be. Having to stay home because of icy roads may have prevented you from an impending accident. Do not let the weather ruin your day. Display a shining spirit despite the rain and instigate happiness instead.

Aging - You can spend every ounce of energy (and money) you have trying to stop the clock, but in the end, it is futile. Aging is a process everyone is taking part in whether you like it or not. For positive insight about aging, read the book, "The Beauty of Aging: Growing Older with Grace, Gratitude and Grit." This marvelous read by author, Karen O'Connor, is available at most leading bookstores.

Make the aging process an enjoyable journey by taking care of your body. Eat healthy, exercise and embrace aging with a vivacious attitude. Do not buy into the media's view of age; it is a bogus stance to promote their own cause. Positive thoughts can go a long way when it comes to how you view age. Take on aging with an energetic attitude because you are what you think.

Illness and Death - No one controls death or illness, or the impact it has on your life. Yes, either of these facets of life is supremely intrusive; yet wishing and hoping is not going to make it go away.

When faced with death or illness, the logical thing to do first is to lessen the grip on the control reigns. Trying to control this situation blinds you from taking the steps you need to take to get through a death or illness. Letting go of the outcome will help you focus on the important tasks. There is a higher design in control of the illness or death, not you!

What We Do Control & Often Overlook

Reacting to Others - So much precious energy is wasted reacting to the negative behavior of others. People make your blood boil: Like the rude man that cuts the line; the woman who takes the parking spot you are waiting for; the couple who cites the faults of everyone around them and fail to acknowledge their own. This is a daily occurrence.

When this happens, stay focused and simply do not react to what someone is doing or what they say. Do not be tempted to join the drama. Ignore the scenario. Save your energy because it is not worth it in the end. You will be amazed how invaluable this little measure is in not wasting energy on something that is not worthy of your time.

Self Esteem - No one controls the way you feel about yourself. You alone are responsible for building your self worth and maintaining a healthy self-esteem. Negative feedback from another person is nothing more than that person's lopsided judgment.

People who belittle others are generally the insecure ones. Raising your self-esteem on a constant basis will promote a happy and healthy life. It is your ultimate responsibility to yourself.

Setting Goals - Life goals can be huge or they can be minute, but meaningful. Either way...you alone control and are responsible for reaching a goal. Many people envy or often, are jealous of those who stick out a goal and achieve success.

There is no need to be envious, though. Every single person has the ability to set goals for themselves and see them through to completion. A goal is something totally within your control, so exercise that control today by setting goals or celebrating some accomplishments.

If you need some help with goal setting, check out the book, "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Reaching Your Goals." Especially helpful, the author, Jeffrey P. Davidson, shows the reader how to sort out "wishes" from "goals." You can purchase the book at Amazon.com.