Things to Consider Before Getting Married

Marriage is one of the biggest steps you'll ever take in your life. You spent your entire life taking baby steps with each relationship, and it seems like when you find that right one you're ready to take the biggest of leaps. However, you need to slow down and think about things for a minute. Like any investment, marriage is something that should be carefully planned for and you should evaluate the success of your past, present, and future dealings with the person you love. With divorce rates on the rise, it's more important than ever to take the time to consider whether or not you're ready for that type of long term commitment. Most of the time divorce occurs because people don't respect the sanctity of marriage. Here are just a few things you should keep in mind before you pledge yourself to someone for the rest of your life:

Are you ready?

It's normal for someone to jump head first into something without giving too much thought. When a person is in their late teens and early twenties they're constantly changing. I think it's very difficult for a couple in that stage of their lives to respect marriage because as they change, so will the relationship. I always think that the relationships in your younger years are sort of like practicing for the big game. You're able to learn about things you need to improve on and things to look out for.

Sex.

This may sound contradictory, but I feel it's important to have a healthy sex life, but I also feel your relationship shouldn't be based around it. If you're unsatisfied with your sex life, then chances are things will not improve in the future. Evaluate how important of a role sex plays in your relationship. For instance, if the man has a high sex drive, while the female doesn't then it could make for many disagreements. On the flip side of that, if you are in the early stages of your relationship where the sex is consistent and great, then I would hold off on getting married. You've often heard the term, "It's lust, not love" and that's certainly true. Sex between a man and a woman makes them feel much closer on an emotional level, but it has nothing to do with connecting on a spiritual level. You can't expect to get to know someone through a physical act that doesn't involve hard work and dedication. I've had a few friends that have only been together for a couple of years and they talk openly about their sex lives and how often they are involved with one another. Though sex is important, it's not everything. I ask that if something happened to your partner and they couldn't have sex again, would you still be with them? If you honestly think you wouldn't then say no to marriage.

Roles at home.

This is a big one. Dating someone and living together are two completely different things. If you're not living together before you get married then you could be in for a big surprise. Start off by evaluating your boyfriend or girlfriend's personality. Who will be responsible for daily activities such as household chores, paying the bills, and yard work? For instance, if you are a very clean, organized person and the person you're dating is a complete slob, then chances are down the road there could be many arguments because of clashing personalities.

Evaluate your beliefs and your future.

Your personalities must be compatible in order to survive a long lasting marriage. It's important to have similar beliefs on issues such as religion, having children, and other long term goals. Your expectations from the marriage must be in line with your partners to ensure a healthy marriage. Don't get married if your partner is completely against the idea of having children and it's something that's important for you. Never feel like you have to compromise on beliefs that are important to you in order to conform to their standards. When it comes to having children, evaluate how good of a parent you think your partner will be. Will they be too controlling? Will they discipline the children or will they let things slide?

Finances and Employment.

Often times, marriages fail because of the stresses of financial burdens. Money is the root of all evil, and this is especially true with many couples. First of all, consider whether or not you have enough money to start off a marriage. Secondly, evaluate both you and your partner's spending habits. Does your partner spend a lot of money on things other than bills? Discuss with your partner whether or not you plan on having a joint account or separate bank accounts. Discussing this ahead of time will prevent many disagreements later. For instance, I'm sure you can see how a man's gambling or sports addiction will affect a marriage. If a woman put in many hours at work only to have that money wasted at a poker table then those types of habits could put a strain on the relationship.

You need to also consider the employment situation. Is your partner currently employed? What are your long term goals with your jobs? If you or your partner spend long hours at the office or you're traveling a lot then that could come in the way of starting a family. Does your current work schedule allow time for you to spend together? What about when you have children? Who will take care of them? These are important and necessary questions you must ask before you get married.

Communcation.

I saved the best, and perhaps most important one for last. Communication is probably the single most important aspect of a relationship. Your partner should be your best friend and the one person you can share anything with. Evaluate your communication skills between each other. Do you fight fairly? During or after the argument, do you make a good attempt to resolve the situation and move on? Of course, there are going to be disagreements, but how you handle it is the important question. Do you always reach a compromise or are there arguments left unresolved? Be sure that your partner doesn't belittle you or do things that can physically or emotionally hurt you.

Those are just a few of the things you should consider before getting married. Take the time to get to know your partner before you rush into something. Once you wait, the rewards will be well worth it. Good luck!