Things to Consider About Participating in Pageants

Crowns. Fancy Dresses. Glamour.

Pageants.

Things like Miss America once seemed, well, all-American. But in the face of feminism and Jon Benet many people now question whether participating in pageants is an appropriate activity for women and girls.

As a former teen competitor, I'd like to address the issue for parents of kids and teens.

1. There are many many types of pageants. Some are traditional beauty pageant where a contestant is judged on physical beauty in a number of categories (photo, evening gown, swimsuit or sports wear). Other pageants add in interview or talent skills. Some pageants don't focus on looks at all (achievement pageants) or focus on a combination of things (looks, grooming, achievement, volunteerism and skills) or are directed as specific populations such as Miss Wheelchair America. Not all pageants are the same, and you need to make your decisions about them on an case by case basis.

2. Almost all pageants cost money to enter. With the exception of Miss America (and then you're still spending money on clothes and costumes) most pageants have an entry fee, usually ranging from $150 to over $1000 dollars. While one is encouraged to find sponsors to cover ones fees, realize the family often picks up a large tab. Pageantry can be an expensive hobby. Prizes for pageants often include cash and savings bonds. Make sure the prizes seem fair based on the entry fee and make sure you feel comfortable with the entry fee regardless of whether your child earns any of it back with winning.

3. If you were a competitor, don't assume your child wants to be a competitor. I know there are pageants out there for children as young as 3 months, but I personally don't believe it's right to enter a child in this type of competition before they are old enough to really decide if they are comfortable with it or even old enough to understand it.

4. Don't enter a child in a pageant because they are shy or have low self esteem. A pageant might help them come out of their shell but it might make them feel even more uncomfortable. If you think this is an activity that would help your child, discuss it with them.

5. Be realistic. Competitors rarely win or even place in their first competition. Also the younger side of an age division usually doesn't win - i.e., if your child is in an 8 - 12 division - the 12 year olds often have better odds, just because they are older, more mature and have more experience. That's okay, but just realize it.

6. Be even more realistic. A pageant is not going to make your child famous and you need to be sure that both you and your child understands that. If your child is a title holder they may get the opportunity to do some appearances (local parades, community events and charity work) and that this is the true purpose of holding a title - having the opportunity to use it to promote causes your child supports. So get your child involved in volunteer work.

7. The best competitor wins. That doesn't mean the winner is better than your child, just that they have better skills in meeting what the judges are looking for. Please make sure you and your child keep this in perspective.

8. Smart is beautiful! I'm biased here, because I competed in pageants that focus more on achievement. But I do think it is important to select well-rounded pageants that award points for academics and volunteerism as well as poise on stage. I think it sends a more positive message and reminds girls that how you present yourself only matters if you have pride in who you are and what you're presenting.

9. People don't always play fair. I hate to say it but it's true. In the world of pageants there are always sore loosers, stage moms, gossip etc. Research pageant systems before you participate. Participate only in pageant systems that have rules about sportsmanship and if you or your kid are the type that can't learn to lose gracefully this really, really may not be the activity for you.

10. Age appropriateness. Since Jon Benet there has been a surge in "age appropriate" child pageants that allow minimal makeup and ordinary (school and holiday wear) clothes only. No glitz, no excessive make-up, etc. In my opinion eight-year-olds should look like eight-year-olds. Look at photos of past winners, and see if you're comfortable with how they look in terms of dress, hairstyle and makeup.

11. On the subject of "pro-am" modeling. Pro-am is a type of modeling in which many pageants offer competition. In some parts of the country it is rare to see and in other parts of the country it is very common. Pro-am is a fancy dance type of modelling with competitors doing lots of twirls and tricks with their jackets and stuff like that. It is something that is really only used in pageants and not in the professional modeling world. It can be fun, and it's fine to pursue, just know what it is and isn't for.

12. Pageants can be exhausting. They often take place over several days of non-stop activities. Don't try to enter everything or your child will never ever have a weekend off. If you decide to engage in this activity, start slow, see if you and your child like it and go to some pageants as an audience member to see if you'd like to enter them next year.

13. If your child is a title holder, don't let them lord it over people, and don't you go on and on about it to other parents. As a title holder it is your child's responsibility to promote the system they are in, but it is also their responsibility to be gracious and encouraging.

14. Remember that holding a title is a responsibility. Make sure you and your family is willing to deal with that potential responsibility before entering a pageant. Will your child be able to make the required appearances? Adhere to the rules? Return next year for the crowning? Being a title holder is a job which is rewarded with cash and prizes. Be sure that you can uphold your end of that bargain.

In conclusion:

Pageants can be fun, family activities that encourage a variety of values and activities from strong academics to volunteerism and public speaking skills. They can also be expensive ego contests that only emphasize superficial things in a very narrow way. If your child has an interest in this activity, be sure to research the particular pageants well and make your decisions on an individual basis. Be aware that this hobby can be exhausting and expensive, but also fun and rewarding and that being a winner means not taking it too seriously.