Things Every Bride Should Know Before the Wedding: What I Wish I Knew

Hindsight is 20/20. Six months after my wedding, I can tell you all of the things that I wish I had known sooner. And some things, people warned me about, but I just was not prepared to believe them. So, now, I want to share my experiences in hopes that they will make your day just a little more special.

Find a florist you can trust. I will admit, I had very specific ideas about what my flowers should look like. I scoured every bridal magazine I could find and searched every web page until I had planned every detail of my flowers. I collected pictures from the centerpieces down to the boutonnières. I had my choice between two florists. When I met with the first, I could not believe how in sync we were. We finished one another's thoughts, and really worked well together. We met with the second florist, and he was amazing, as well, but we didn't have that connection that I found with the first. But my mother really trusted the second florist, and his quote was drastically cheaper than the first, and so he was entrusted with making my flowers gorgeous. Because I didn't feel like we were on the same page, I met with the florist four times. I gave him all my pictures. I gave him specifics on everything. And I also told him the four things that were not allowed near my wedding - ivy, calla lilies, daisies and anything that was cascading.

On my wedding day, I walked into the church with my photographer, and I almost fainted. Apparently, the florist didn't hear anything I told him. My bouquet was all roses (I told him I absolutely did not want that), my maid of honor did not have a bouquet, the flower girl's pink rose pomander was made of pink carnations, and the bright fun colors I desperately wanted were nowhere in sight. Now, don't get me wrong, all of the flowers were gorgeous, but they just were not what I asked for. So, if you find a florist that you really connect with - go with that one. Flowers are such a major part of the wedding day, and you want them to be beautiful and everything you dreamt of.

On the bright side, there were no daisies, calla lilies, or ivy; and nothing cascaded.

When you book your reception location, find out who will be overseeing the event. We had a great venue booked for the reception, and while the owner was a little odd, he was meticulous and we knew he would make sure everything was done just right. When we arrived at our reception, we learned the owner was out of town that night, and he had left his daughter in charge of our reception. She did a fine job, except for a few mistakes. The biggest being that when her staff had been making the dinner, they forgot to add key spices to the breading for the chicken. It resulted in a bland, disappointing dish - nothing like what we had tasted previously when the owner prepared it. Know who will be running your reception, and if you aren't comfortable with who will be in charge, find another venue, or make sure the owner has properly prepared the replacement.

A personal attendant is a lifesaver. I was planning to ask a friend to serve as my attendant, but after some thought, I asked my aunt to serve as my personal attendant, and it was one of the best decisions I made. Because of her age, she had much more authority with the twenty-something bridal party. She was able to keep every one in line, and make sure they were where they needed to be at all times. I don't know how we would have gotten everyone down the aisle without her. And I mean that. She really took charge, and kept things moving.

No one will know if things don't go exactly as you planned. I cannot tell you how many people shared that bit of wisdom with me during my planning. My response was that I would notice. And so, I created binders for my mom, personal attendant and myself. They included names of the wedding party, order of the Mass, Processional order, the head table seating arrangement, a floor plan of the reception hall, contact numbers for anyone that was important, back-up numbers in case people could not be reached, and more. I created itineraries for my fiancé and myself. I created CDs for the band to play during their breaks, so I did not have to trust their song selection. I spent half of the cocktail hour making sure the band could pronounce the names of everyone in the wedding party. I spent the rest of the cocktail hour ensuring that the photographer was getting all the pictures we wanted. I realized the seating for the head table was not what I had requested, and so I changed it all before the guests were let into the hall.

Maybe I was a little neurotic. I'm sure the band could have picked its own songs for breaks. And maybe the binders and itineraries were a little much. But, they helped me to relax, and I was able to feel like I had done everything that I could have possibly done to create the perfect environment. And some things did not happen as I had planned, but I knew I did everything I could, and that gave me some peace. So, if you tend to be just as obsessive about details, then do whatever you need to do to make sure that you will be as relaxed as possible.

Worrying about what might happen is a colossal waste of time. I cannot tell you how worried I was that my future mother-in-law or the best man would do something ignorant to ruin the day. What would she do to get the attention? What would he say in his speech to embarrass me? Would he get wasted before the ceremony like he said? I went so far as to talk to my priest to make sure he knew he could kick the best man out of the wedding if he was drunk. I also rearranged the head table's seating so that my fiancé would be next to the best man, so if he said something ignorant, then he could quickly take the microphone away.

Of course, nothing happened. I ignored my mother-in-law, so I wouldn't get myself upset. The only exchange we had was when she said my dress looked 'nice.' And the best man gave the most wonderful speech. I didn't know he had it in him, but he almost had me in tears. I felt good that I was prepared for any worse-case scenarios, but I really had myself upset thinking about what might happen.

The day will fly by. I still am amazed by how quickly the day went. I remember standing at the alter saying my vows, and it just all felt so surreal. It felt like the ceremony was over before it started, and the reception seemed like it was only long enough for a quick hello to the guests and then everyone was gone. You have spent months planning this day, so try your hardest to enjoy it. I wish I had been more present during the whole thing, but it just felt like I was in a dream, and I missed so much of my wedding day. So, calm down, enjoy the ceremony and what it means. Greet all of your guests at the reception, but then take the time to enjoy your big night - this is your party to celebrate one of the most important days of your life! Make it memorable!

After the wedding, you are no longer the center of attention. What a shock! My mom warned me about this, but I blew her off. After all, I am not one to need to be the center of attention, so I assumed it wouldn't affect me. Was I ever wrong! After the wedding, the phone calls and emails stopped. No one was worried about what I was doing. There were no more discussions of flowers and dresses and cakes. I was just a regular person, living a regular life. I can see how some women get depressed after their wedding. There is such a build up to this one day, and then the very next day, life is back to normal and you are just a regular person. It is important to know that you are not the only person feeling this, and it is completely normal.

Above all, remember to do what is right for you and your fiancé. This day is for the two of you, and no one else. Make it special, and find the time to relax and enjoy your wedding.