Things a Gorilla Knows About Bananas

Do you know what to do when you get home with your bananas? You could call the zoo and ask to be transferred to the gorilla department, or just ask Lindy Lou.

1. You should always peel your bananas from the bottom, as every gorilla knows. Why? Because that way all the little stringy things come off with the peel, saving you oodles of time you might have had to spend picking them off. Gorillas have very busy schedules and they don't have time to unstring a bunch of bananas. So they came up with this efficient peeling method. Raise your hand if you already knew this. Did you raise it? You goofball, this is the internet, I can't see what you're doing with your hand.
2. Disconnect notice. Should you disconnect your bananas from each other or leave them connected? That depends on whether want your bananas to ripen fast (as gorillas do), or slowly. Are you making banana bread or saving the bananas for a picnic in a few days? If you leave your bananas in a bunch connected at the stem, they will ripen faster. If you disconnect them, they ripen more slowly.

Banana bread is better if made with overripe bananas, otherwise it will be banana chunk bread. This is irrelevant to gorillas because they don't have ovens.

Free Extra Bonus Homemaker Tip #2 Also Irrelevant to Gorillas Unless They Have an Extremely Varied Diet

You know how green peppers, and also orange and red ones aren't flat on the bottom? They have bumps. You need to count those bumps. That's right, as you stand at the produce section, count the pepper bumps before you pick your peppers. Because peppers with only three bumps are sweeter and better for eating raw. Perfect if you're going to fix them julienne style and use them with dip or in a salad.

Peppers with four bumps are firmer. So pick peppers with four bumps if you're planning to cook them, or stuff them and then cook them. Same goes for peppers you plan to pelt people with. (Bzzzz. Preposition Dangler alert!)

Review: Three bumps for salad, four bumps for stuffing and cooking. Probably.

Free Extra Bonus Homemaker Tip #4 for Italian Gorillas:

Add garlic immediately to a recipe if you want a light taste of garlic, and at the end of the recipe if you want a stronger taste of garlic.

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