Things that Should Never Be Tolerated in a Relationship

Kyra Lennon
To be in a loving relationship requires patience, compromise, trust and understanding. Every person who is in a relationship will agree that their partner probably has at least one habit that they wish they could stop. These are often small things that are irksome, but not deal breakers. But what about those habits which are upsetting? It's one thing to leave toenails all over the bathroom floor, but quite another when their behaviour is hurtful. There are some things that should never be tolerated in a relationship - let's take a look at some of them.

Things that should never be tolerated in a relationship

Threatening Behavior

Arguments in relationships are inevitable. In fact, arguments in relationships can often be healthy. But when threats start to creep in, it's a sure sign that something is wrong. Things said in the heat of the moment can quickly be distinguished from a genuine threat by body language and tone. If you feel afraid at any point during an argument, it's time to step away - this is doubly true if any violence is involved. Threatening behaviour should never, ever be tolerated in a relationship.

Excessive Flirting

Feelings about this will vary from couple to couple. Many people are fine with a little harmless flirting here and there, but if your partner is spending a lot of time flirting, it can quickly make you feel worthless. The first step in dealing with this is to explain how you feel. However, if there is no change in the behaviour it is a good indication that you're with the wrong person. Someone worthy of you will always respect your feelings.

Cheating

Cheating should never be tolerated in a relationship if you are not in an open relationship. Finding out your partner is having a fling with someone else is one of the most hurtful things, and even if they tell you it won't happen again, is it really wise to trust someone who has hurt you before? Painful as break-ups are, sometimes it is better to call it quits to save yourself from further heartbreak.

Overspending

In times when money is tight, wasting money is completely unacceptable. Assuming both partners have a job, there is nothing wrong with occasional treats but with bills to pay it is not okay to be frivolous with your cash. Overspending should never be tolerated in a relationship because living with debts is not a good way to live.

Possessiveness

When two people are in a committed relationship, there should be a healthy level of trust. If your partner always asks you where you've been, calls you to check on you, gets angry when you want to go out with your friends and questions you over again to see if you "slip up", you should think about ending things. This kind of behavior is very damaging to a relationship and possessive people usually find it very hard to change.

If you are unsure about which things should not be tolerated in a relationship, judge by the way you feel. If something your partner is doing is upsetting, frightening or otherwise troubling you, you should have a long hard think about whether or not you need to be in the relationship.

Published by Kyra Lennon - Featured Contributor in Arts & Entertainment, Travel and Lifestyle

Kyra Lennon has been writing for most of her life. Alongside working on her first full length novel, Kyra has published online content with a focus on dating and relationships, entertainment and travel. A...  View profile

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  • Crystal12/10/2011

    i agree but sad to say am still in an relationship were my patner had sex wit som one else an thing's were going gd after dat but now it's down hill i want out but don't kno how to it's been 4 years now an i love him very much but i don't think my heart could take it anymore.but the worse thing is dat we live together an am out of a work so it's real pain on my end

  • Sophie S11/24/2010

    I agree with you, Karen. Small things are easy to forgive and overlook, but you mentioned issues that would definitely classify as deal breakers in a relationship.
    Sophie

  • Tony Payne11/22/2010

    My wife's ex used to overspend and left them with horrible debts, half of which she is still responsible for trying to pay off, even though she didn't spend the money. It will keep us in the poor house for the foreseeable future unfortunately.

  • carol gibson11/20/2010

    Enjoyed this! Great tips.

  • Tiffany Bailey11/19/2010

    Totally agree! Overspending is a big problem these days. Good points!

  • Z.J. Ascensio11/19/2010

    Very true. Not a lot of people include overspending as an intolerable relationship behavior, but it should be. Financial troubles can cause as large of wrecks as cheating.

  • David A. Reinstein, LCSW11/19/2010

    Amen. Sadly, for many people suffering from codependency, this is a list of things they seem unable to help themselves about.

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