Things to Remember When Facing Life's Challenges

Age and wisdom are not always synonymous; of that we can be certain. But most of us do learn a few important things as we travel life's bumpy road. Wouldn't it be nice if we could stop at some point and write a letter to our younger self to give her/him a hint of what is to come, and what she/he needs to know? Recently, a few days before my birthday, I did just that. I wrote a letter of advice as if writing to my younger self. This advice may benefit any young person; therefore, I decided to reprint it here.

Some things to remember when facing life's challenges:

Life is rarely black and white; most situations are in shades of grey, with a complex mixture of thoughts and feelings.

There are going to be some heart breaking situations that will make you feel like it is the end of the world. In most instances, it won't really be the end of the world. You will feel like your heart and your guts have been ripped from your body and stomped into the dust, and you may feel this way for months, but you will survive it and you will move on.

There will be people who say they love you. They may even mean it. Some of these people will be fickle and will betray you, leaving you feeling like an utter fool. You must learn to love yourself; if you love yourself and have a strong sense of who you are, these betrayals won't be so devastating.

Always remember who you are. Don't get so wrapped up in another person's world or reality that you lose your sense of identity.

If you don't know who you are, ask yourself. It is that simple. If you find that, upon asking yourself who you are, you give answers that seem to center around who you are in relation to other people, then you do not know who you are and you would do well to find out.

Self-identity is first a relationship with you. Who are you in relationship to you? If you strip away all your titles (mother of, child of, friend of, employee of) what is the part that remains? The part that remains is your core identity. You can modify this identity--you do have a choice. Identity is not carved in stone.

One of the most important things you will ever discover is that nature and nurture, though both incline you to certain attitudes and dispositions, do not carve your self-identity permanently in stone. Once you realize this, you will gain a stronger sense of who you are and what kind of person you want to be.

Once you are able to establish a strong core identity, all other relationships in your life will be transformed for the better. The sooner you discover yourself, the better. And the sooner you realize that you have the power to change things you don't like about yourself, the more you will be able to cope with life's challenges.

You will make mistakes. Everyone does. You will have regrets. You must learn to accept these things and learn how to move on. Dwelling too long on mistakes serves no purpose but to cause you unnecessary pain. You won't learn from mistakes by hating yourself for making them. Take responsibility for mistakes, take measures to rectify them if possible, and then move on.

Try to do more and worry less. Worry only robs you of energy and makes everything seem bleak and impossible.

Pursue your dreams for a better life, but be careful not to lose yourself so much in the dream that you ignore the life you have in front of you. If you neglect the loved ones and yourself, for whom you are trying to create a better life, then what good is the dream?