Things to Say to Your Husband During the Superbowl Game

It's Superbowl Sunday. Your husband is spread out comfortably in his recliner, surrounded by snacks and drinks and all the comforts he expects during a football game. You're in the kitchen cleaning up, the kids are fussing over some trifle, and the washer's off-balance buzzer is giving you a headache. It's getting to you, so you come up with a plan. You sidle into the living room, just within earshot of your husband. It's best to wait till a really tense moment in the game to start this process.

First, you tell him about a book you're reading, or a movie you watched on TV, or how the kids are driving you crazy. Keep talking till his eyes glaze over. Then start with the inquisition. These questions shouldn't all be thrown out at once. Watch for opportune moments, such as when his team is in a fourth-down, one-yard-to-go position. Then toss out a request. Intersperse these at intervals throughout the game. Below are merely suggestions. You can personalize the plan to fit your own situation.

1. Don't you think I need a new wardrobe?
2. We need a new washer. Don't you agree?
3. Will you start taking me out to eat at least once a week?
4. How about you watch the kids tomorrow night while I go out with the girls?
5. Can my mother come to live with us?
6. Would it be okay with you if I maxed out the credit card today?
7. Would it be all right if I quit work and just stay home and veg out every day?
8. Will you hire a housekeeper so I don't have to do any work?
9. I'm going shopping now, okay?

The point is that most men are concentrating on the game so intensely that they'll agree to anything you ask, just to shut you up. They have no idea what either you or they are saying, as they tuned you out the instant you started talking. That's why you need to set up a recorder as soon as the game comes on. Without it, the whole exercise is pointless.

Of course no woman could pull off a complete victory in such a case, but with proof that he has agreed to all those things, you stand to come out with at least some bargaining material.

Let me know how it works for you.