Things to Do at the Store

When recently reading Barefoot's article about Fun At the Pharmacy it reminded me of an email I once got about the fun things you can do at the store.
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in the store to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3 Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4 Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in toy Department .. and see what happens.

5 Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6 Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7 Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8 When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9 Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10 While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.

11 Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12 In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13 Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14 When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

( And; last, but not least!)

15 Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and, then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

You will surely have a great time the next time you have to go to the store. Just be sure to wear some running shoes so you can escape the store security guard.