Things I Think About While I'm Waiting in Line

I always laugh when you ask what someone is thinking about and they say "nothing". Who in the heck thinks about nothing? I can't help it, even if I'm supposed to be thinking about nothing I'm still thinking about something. See even now I'm thinking about thinking.

The most random things usually pop into my head while I'm waiting in line, some really odd things get stuck in my head and I can't seem to get them out.

When I'm standing in line at the grocery store I usually look at the headlines on the covers of all those rag magazines. Some of that stuff is really quite amusing. Alien abductions, what celebrities look like with out their make-up on, who's together, who'[s not, who may be pregnant, who had plastic surgery and who has a drug problem. Like I really care what celebrities look like without their make-up, or who is with whom. Geeze, but I can't seem to keep from glancing at the covers. It's kind of like a train wreck and I'm just a serious rubbernecker.

When I've finally finished contemplating the amazing importance of celebrity lives, I start looking through the impulse items to make sure there is nothing I absolutely need to have. That usually takes only a few seconds. Then the real fun begins.

I start watching the items the shoppers in front of me are purchasing. I think about what they are going to do with each item. Of course I'm not going to think of all the bland uses of these items, I like to think of the craziest things possible. If the person in front of me is buying lettuce, tomatoes, carrots, onions, and mushrooms, I don't think "Oh they must be making a salad." I think "Oh! They must be trying to catch the energizer bunny to see if it can power up their home made space ship." Hey maybe they want to meet those tall aliens also. I start getting bored shortly after that. Then I'll think about how slow the checker is and what a dweeb I was for picking this dang slow line. Then I'll start thinking about all the things I need to get done today. Nope, not going to think about that, I'll get depressed and tired before I have the chance to even get out of the dang store. I want to keep thinking of fun stuff, back to the impulse items. They are looking more necessary every minute. NO, no impulse junk, I've got enough of that stuff at home anyway. Back to the person in line ahead of me, goodness more vegetables. That has me thinking that I really don't eat very well, maybe I should run and grab some salad things. Oh! That's right , they aren't really eating that stuff. It's all for the energizer bunny.

Woo Hoo. It's finally my turn. Now I'm wondering what the checker is thinking about. Does he think that I eat like I'm trying to give myself a heart attack? Or is he thinking of crazy stories about my purchases? Maybe he's thinking about which rag magazine to buy on his break. I would recommend the one with what celebrities have the worst beach bodies, that's always good for a laugh. Maybe he knows all about the previous shoppers plan to lure the energizer bunny and is going to see if he can get that dang space ship off the ground as soon as he gets off work. Well as long as he doesn't think that the bunny can really get that thing off the ground I'll just let him live with his fantasy.

Finally a voice pop's into my head "would you like help out with this?" Maybe the bagger is also thinking I eat like I'm trying to give myself a heart attack and is worried I can't make it to my car with the three bags of purchases. "No thank you, but thanks for asking." Now I can get out of my head, at least until I get to my car and start making up stories about where everyone is going. Hey, at least I have a good time.