Things to Do in Uzbekistan If You're Still Alive

The people of Uzbekistan are a good and hospitable people. However, you will have to be on the lookout for exceptions to this rule. Before I continue, I must clarify that my visit to Uzbekistan was back in 1998. Although the country was also dangerous back then, the current world situation may have increased the danger level to the nth degree. So before I continue, I wish you luck.

If you are indeed going to be in Uzbekistan, I assume that you have a basic knowledge of where Uzbekistan is, the fact that it's in a desert, etc. What I will divulge to you is what I picked up about the country that you might not find on the net.

My first piece of advice is that you don't do anything illegal while you are there! I cannot stress this enough. You do not want to be imprisoned in a central Asian dictatorship country. Although this may seem like common sense to you, consider this: drinking in public is a crime in Uzbekistan. Since most bars are open air establishments, this means that if you go to a place that sells alcohol, sit down at table (which is roped off part of the place that you bought that alcohol) and drink there you can be arrested. Another crime in Uzbekistan is not staying at a hotel after being in the country after three days. This means that if you are going to be staying at someone's house or apartment, you might need to bribe a hotel manager to give you a little piece of paper with a stamp on it that says that you are indeed staying at a hotel. For this you're going to want a guide that you can trust. Unfortunately, I cannot help you with this. Hopefully you know someone that already lives there to help you out, or suggest a guide that wont try to rip you off or hurt you.

Before you completely freak out, here's a bit of good news. If you have even a modest amount of money, you can consider yourself fantastically wealthy while you are in Uzbekistan. The Uzbek form of currency is the sym (pronounced soome). While I was there, the dollar was supposed to be worth about 62 sym. However, the dollar is really worth about twice that and you can easily get that much. In fact, the only place that you will receive the official exchange rate is at a bank. Think about that. In Uzbekistan, the only place where the black market doesn't exist is in a bank. If your guide is worth his or her salt, they will happily exchange dollars to sym for you. In fact, any stranger on the street, if they determine that you're American, might approach you asking to exchange money for you. Since I didn't speak the language, this could be a scary experience. Stay with your guide and you should be okay.

Food and services are extremely inexpensive in Uzbekistan. I did the math, and when I was there, lunch cost about five cents. A subway pass cost about three cents. If you want Coke, Fanta, Sprite, or bottled water, this will cost you about a dollar. Oh, by the way, universal refrigeration does not exist in Uzbekistan, because of this meat is harder to come by, so enjoy that warm Fanta drink with your fat-kabob!

People make the equivalent of about ten dollars a month in Uzbekistan. This income is supplemented with money that they can make by scamming you, or anybody else with money. Consider this; the twenty dollar bill in your pocket right now is the equals two months income in Uzbekistan. Now consider how hard you will want to hold on to that money compared to how much a native will want to be able to feed their family that month. The merchants and beggars there are very persuasive. This rule also includes Uzbek policemen. I was never able to determine the exact difference between a policeman and a soldier except that, when I was there, police only carried clubs. Have no illusion, if a police officer in Uzbekistan knows that you're a foreigner, there is a chance that they will try to get money off you.

An encounter with a police patrol (they tend to walk on foot in groups) begins with the handshake. Strangely, policemen there shake hands with people before they talk to them. At this point I hope you're with a guide or friendly native. If your guide and the policeman might start shouting at each other play it cool. Police in Uzbekistan don't have the authority that you would expect in a western country. Because of this, people yell at them all the time. The Policeman might try to arrest you on a technicality, he is probably looking for a bribe. With some luck, your guide will handle matters like this. If you are arrested, you might want to act like a pain to make the policeman think you're more trouble than you're worth. If you feel your getting deep into trouble, you might want to try a bribe. Otherwise, play it cool and they'll probably let you go with a "fine" or something like that.

When I was there, staying inconspicuous was a good idea. This is probably truer today, as you have to watch out for Islamic Jihad and other undesirables. Don't loudly start speaking in English in a crowd if you can help it. If you speak good Russian, all the better as a good percentage of the cities' natives are Russian Nationals. One tactic you can use is dressing like the population. As a bonus, you can exchange your American clothes for money. A pair of American jeans might go for twenty dollars there, that's enough to live there modestly for two months.

Even if you don't smoke, you might want to bring a carton of cigarettes (or five). For some reason, Parliament brand cigarettes were worth more there than other cigarettes when I was there. Copyright laws don't exist in Uzbekistan, so music piracy is rampant. Be sure to bring some cool music CDs to give your new friends. The music you give them might be copied many times, and become a country-wide sensation over time. You can also watch pirated movies on T.V. there.

Now that I have most of the un-pleasantries covered. Here are some ideas for what you can do in Uzbekistan. Be sure to see the subway system, it's cheap and some of the stations are beautiful. You can't take pictures down there, but try to see the subway with the cosmonaut artwork. Make sure to go to Samarkand as words can not describe it properly. I was able to see the inside of mosques while I was there. But this might not be feasible anymore.

As I have said, the people I knew in Uzbekistan where some of my best friends. So don't be afraid to go there if you think you can handle a little adventure. If you have been to Uzbekistan or are going there, send us a comment and let us know.