On Greetings and Salutations
Is there anything quite as maddening as not knowing when or how to say "Hello?" Some retail outlets try to address this concern by instructing their clerks to address everyone as soon as they come up to the counter for check out. Some even offer a discount or cash bonus if the clerk does not greet the customer. This greeting apparently can range from a friendly smile and "Hello! Did you find everything you were looking for today?" to the less cheery grimace and "UNGH." I'm not sure what "UNGH." even is. Should it be considered a greeting at all? "Ungh." says "I'm aware of you. I hate my life. When I complete this transaction I'm going to go in the break room and microwave my head."
But what happens when there is no greeting? Sometimes you get to the counter, all excited that it is now your turn to buy your merchandise and leave the premises, and the clerk just starts to ring up your purchase sans greeting. Hold up. What now? What exactly is the window for a post-greeting-phase "Hello?" I would say anything over 5 seconds once the transaction has begun is a non-starter. Sometimes the clerk will pull a "How you doing, today?" while they are scanning your purchases which lets you off the hook. You can respond with a "Good, thanks." and be on your way. Sometimes the clerk finishes scanning your purchases, turns to you and asks for money for your potential acquisitions.
This is a clear violation of the clerk/customer unwritten contract. We expect some sort of greeting if we are going to be asked for money. It's uncomfortable all around and makes the purchase phase of the shopping transaction unnecessarily tense.
How much easier would it be if we were trained in advance how to behave in this situation? Observe the following one act play:
Customer: Hello, clerk.
Clerk: Hello, customer. I hope the day finds you well. Are you prepared to buy your shit?
Customer: I am.
Clerk: Then we shall proceed.
See? Simple, clean, less tense interaction. By putting responsibility for the opening on the customer to begin the transaction everything follows along nicely from that point. How long could this take to teach in school? 10 minutes, 15 for the slow ones? Add proper greetings and salutations to our children's educational program immediately.... if not sooner. The world has suffered long enough.
Published by LC82610
I could write a bunch of interesting facts about myself but 2000 characters is just not enough space. View profile
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1 Comments
Post a CommentBeing the chatty sort by nature, I haven't really run into this. I generally say hello when it get up there if I haven't been greeted first. Appealing & amusing article, LC! Here's what's annoying the crap out of me in this arena, though... Drive-through restaurant greetings. "Welcome to Phat's World. Would you like a Triple Bypass Burger special with Super-size Phat's Fries today?" Or you hear the garbled sound of word jumbles not normally emitted from human vocal cords, & go "Whaaa?" Geez, I'm starving, so shut up already & just let me order! White Castle sent my adult son & me into fits of screaming laughter when a tired voice asked, "Would you like steamin'sack of hot sliders today?" It took me so long to regain my ability to talk that we thought she might have walked away. I asked, "Are you still there?" A sarcastic, world-weary voice droned, "I haven't left the building." We could barely eat after that from choking w/ laughs & spewing our drinks! Thanks for the article!