Things You'll Never Hear a Literature Student Say
Ok, so we're a little touchy about that. We'll tell you in about 800 sentences the importance of the study of literature, and we are a quirky lot. In order to get to know us better, I've compiled this list of things you'll never hear a Literature student say.
1. Have you seen the new Beowulf movie?
2. I'm going to get rid of some of these books. I've read them already anyway, and don't need them anymore.
3. Oh, I just love a happy ending.
4. I can't wait to go home and lose myself in a bubble bath and this new romance novel.
5. Poetry is too touchy-feely for me.
6. I'm very organized.
7. This story is too slow. I need some action.
8. I just can't bring myself to write in my books.
9. I don't know how I could have messed up my checkbook register. I'm usually very good with numbers.
10. I'm so stressed out. I have a ten-page paper to write!
11. Eww, yuck! I hate the taste of coffee.
12. It's always been my dream to write advertising copy.
13. I don't need to read that novel. I've seen the movie, anyway.
14. I can't stand Shakespeare. The language is too weird.
15. I can't wait until all books are in electronic format.
16. My secret obsession is celebrity gossip magazines.
17. Ugh. I don't see how you can just sit around and analyze everything.
18. Oh, let me figure out the tip. 20% of $34.25? Oh, that's easy!
19. I can't stand a messy desk.
20. I'm a double major - English and Accounting.
Hey, I might as well have a little fun with this. In looking for a part time job to supplement my writing and editing income while I get through grad school, I found a few others online who have had a good time poking a little fun at the English majors. And my guess is they aren't English majors. One is entitled, "So you'd like to...Become a pretentious English major," and another is a transcript from "A Prairie Home Companion" which is a mock public service message from the "Partnership of English majors." Enjoy.
Published by Chloe Logan
Chloe Logan is here just to sound off, mostly. View profile
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8 Comments
Post a CommentVery funny, amusing, and very true. I am working to get my BA in English and I can concur with almost all of them. I thought I was just one of those weird English majors. It's nice to see that I'm not alone.
I love this list! I fit the bill on all of them :) I refused to see the Beowulf movie, even though some of my favorite actors were in it. Very funny!
Very clever. Isn't it amusing that thogh I am older and live in a different region of the country....
as someone with an English degree I can relate to almost every item on the list. LOL
I don't need to read that novel. I've seen the movie, anyway. Hahaha that was awesome. Although, that's my attitude with "I Am Legend."
*falls out of chair laughing* Thankfully, I took my car keys out of my back pocket.
Funny stuff.
2. I still consult my high school English handbook...glad I kept it;)
Great job~!!