Thinking About Moving Out? Living with Friends or Strangers?

Are you thinking about moving out of home? Thinking about living with friends? It is something that many of us consider. Gone are the days of living at home with our parents until we get married, and then going straight to living with our spouse. These days many of us first spend years living either by ourselves, or more commonly at first, with friends or housemates.

Choosing a housemate is difficult, and something that many people step into lightly, not realising what a big deal it is. This is a person that you are going to live with for a year, if not more. You need to be compatible. Just because you're friends and get along capitally at your once-a-week coffee meet-up does not mean that you will make great house-mates.

House-mate horror stories abound, and a bad housemate can ruin an otherwise good year. On the other hand, a great housemate can make a bad year bearable. Often you have no idea how which category a potential housemate is going to fall into until you actually live with them.

I've had both ends of the stick. My first housemate was great. We lived in the same university hall, so knew what each other was like to a degree before we rented a two bedroom apartment together. We were very compatible with similar attitudes to cleanliness, hygiene, consideration and personal space. I could have lived with this girl for years, but she went overseas, so the hunt was on for another housemate. My sister had had a complete horror year with the housemate from hell (to the extent that she often crashed on my couch so she wouldn't have to go home) so she leapt at the opportunity to live with me. We thought it would be fine - I mean, we'd lived together for 17 years before I first moved out of home with no drama's, but that was with our parents and brother and a much larger house. Now it was just the two of us in a little two bedroom apartment. We both have very different attitudes to cleaning and food, and needless to say this caused a bit of tension (and we get along a lot better now that we aren't living together). That was my mediocre year. It wasn't great, but it wasn't that bad either. We were just not that compatible.

Next was my friend from university. We got along really well. Until we moved in together. Then it started going downhill. It was the first time he'd lived away from his family and he wasn't considerate in the slightest. It didn't work well. And now we barely speak. Living together ruined a perfectly good friendship and made turned what would have been a great year into a bad one.

The other road to go down is to move in with someone you previously did not know at all, or only vaguely. In this case there is no friendship to risk. If you don't get along, then you have to put up with them for a year but then that's it. You haven't lost anything. Alternatively, if you get along well with them it can be the beginning of a lifelong friendship. My mother is still very good friends with her flatmate from 35 years ago.

So think carefully about who you move in with. More important is similar attitudes to cleaning and chores and sleeping habits. Less important is how fun you have at a club/pub/bar. You have to live with the person, see them every day and it is much better to get along well with that person than to have constant tension.