Thirteen Free Christmas Gifts to Yourself and Those Around You

1. Practice random acts of kindness. I try to live by that motto. I don't always succeed, because I am human. Occasionally random acts of garbage hitting the fan and spewing out at all around occur. In those moments I try to stop, think about the importance of the issue, and usually find that it just isn't. Most of the things that we think are important are minor and won't be remembered in ten years. In this holiday season take the opportunity replace an angry word with a kind one. The biggest gifts that can be given cost absolutely nothing. You never know when one kind word can change the course of history. Small acts can create big changes and the butterfly effect can be amazing.

2.Smile at a stranger and give a nod of existence. This is heartfelt but it also can be fun. I came from a small town where you automatically nodded acknowledgement and said hello to everyone that you passed on the street because you knew each one. When I moved to a much larger city the habit remained. I used to enjoy the multitude of responses. They ranged from a comfortable smile back and nod to a quizzical smile where the eyes roll upward to the left indicating that they thought they should know me from somewhere. It made it a lot more fun when I was doing television commercials, because they did recognize the face but couldn't remember why. Through all of it, I have found that when someone smiles at me, I just feel obligated to do the same back and suddenly, in a small way, my day is better.

3.Find the best in your family and those close to you. Take a minute of your time to reflect on the people in your life. Notice the good that they have brought to your life. When you begin to focus on it you will find that you fall in love with your partner all over again, see your children as the unique individuals that they are, and count blessings that each friend has bestowed on you. Amazingly, the more you look at the world with a positive eye, the more positive it becomes.

4.Tell important people in your life what you like the most about them. We always give general acknowledgements of friendship and love, but seldom identify reasons. Noting a specific strength says that you cared enough to notice. Mike, my life partner, once mentioned a habit that I had that I never realized, but he was right. It was small and not an unpleasant one in fact quite good, but the fact that he noticed something that small and insignificant was important to me.

5.Invite someone to sit with you. If you are in a crowded lunchroom and see an individual looking for a spot to sit, invite them to join you. I have done this many times and found some of the most delightful people. I have had others do this for me and appreciated both their kindness and every minute of conversation.

6.Stop gossip and rumor-mongering. Spreading vile information about another is of no benefit to anyone. No matter how much the other person irritates you, sharing dirt only makes you look like the ass. If you must talk about others make it something kind or helpful to share. Even Thumper knew that if you couldn't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. Remember, don't talk about other's shortcomings unless your own back yard is clean.

7.Be true to yourself. Honesty to yourself and others is one of the best ways to make the world a better place. Find what you believe in and follow as closely as you can. If you make parameters of behavior and attempt to live up to them honestly, you will be a better person and the planet always can use one more of those. It doesn't matter what religion you believe or don't believe, ethical honest behavior should always be part of life.

8.Appreciate yourself and the importance of your job. This will help you to do your best. There is no one job that is better than another. When I first started to see Mike he felt bad because he was not like most of the men that I dated. They were suits. He would mention over and over that he was just a carpenter. One day I asked him if he was a good carpenter. He answered yes, to which I made note that the greatest man to have walked the earth was a carpenter and I would rather date a good carpenter than a crappy attorney or doctor. Going the extra mile for a customer or a company because it is the right thing to do adds positive providence to your life and that of others.

9.Look at every individual as important. All of us have felt the cruelty of being made to feel inadequate and mocked or ignored by another. If you remember it, don't do it another. It never makes you a bigger person and only results in pain. Always remember, you are no better than anyone else, but nobody is better than you. How you treat your fellow man identifies who you are.

10.Visit a neighbor or find a friend at a nursing home. There are many people, especially older people that have no one close. Offer to be a surrogate child, if they are older, and let them know you are available if they need a ride to the grocery, a helping hand, or just someone to chat with occasionally. Follow through. Find out if they have special dietary needs, and if not, make a little extra soup, salad or spaghetti and take them a meal. A plate of cookies, a jar of homemade jelly, or an invite to come over for pizza is always appreciated.

11.Become an optimist. Find the silver lining in everything that faces you. There is always an answer to your prayers and always a reason that you are faced with adversity. If you look at a situation long enough with hopeful optimism, you will find a valuable experience that you can use later in life. Others take cues from your behavior, whether you realize it or not, help them to see the best.

12.Give hope and support. Whether you agree with plans or not, if they are well thought out and truly the desires of the other person, love them, back them, and support them in their efforts.

13. Count your blessings. The richest person I know has limited money in the bank and the only property they own is their house. They have created such a wonderful attitude toward life that you go out of your way to be with them. They are appreciative of big and small things that come their way and it makes you want to do more for them. Life looks best after you have totalled all that you have. Your life is what you focus on and what you should focus on is the good in your life.