Thirty Year Old Twinkie Points Way to Preserving Bodies

The discovery of a perfectly preserved 40 year old Twinkie in the local landfill has sparked a revolution in the mortuary business, it was announced by the General Delivery University College of Modern Archeology today.

"We study landfills to determine the habits of modern people," said Willy B. Greene, head of the Modern Archeology program, "and we noticed that many foods never decay in landfills."

Chemical analysis of the well-preserved food found in garbage dumps revealed that chemical additives in the food produced the preservation.

"Twinkies are virtually indestructible," said Greene.

The GDU shared is findings at a conference of mortuary owners, who in turn tried out food additives in lieu of embalming fluid.

"The stuff works much better, and is much cheaper," said George N. Tern, owner of the Laid To Rest funeral home.

"The day may come when the loved ones are so full of food additives that they will be naturally pickled, and we won't have to add anything to preserve them," Tern added.