This Married Life

So we have all heard the dire statistics of 50% of today's American marriages will end in divorce, approximately 22% of married men and 14% of of married women are unfaithful add to that a floundering economy,the daily stresses of bills, child rearing,work etc and it is a miracle that anyone manages to stay married.
Here is my ,very humble opinion. Americans have become a nation of self absorbed, spoiled,lazy,individuals looking for instant gratification. We are like a country of two year olds throwing adult sized temper tantrums when we don't get our way.
Here is the truth of marriage.
It is hard. It is work. Some days, when I look at my husband I have the overwhelming urge throw something at him. I'm sure he feels the same way about me at times.
But you know what else is true?
Divorce is harder, it is messier and it is painful.
I am certainly not saying that no one should ever get divorced. If your partner is abusive, has addiction issues or has untreated mental health problems. Then divorce may be the better option. I am saying that I have recently listened to three separate woman decide on divorce solely because there "needs" were not being met. Two of those woman had already begun new and exciting relationships, all three woman have children.

Here is another hard truth about adult marriage and parenting. Your needs don't matter. Period. It isn't up to your spouse, your kids,your mother or your neighbor to make sure your happiness is guaranteed. Your happiness is yours alone,if your waiting for your husband to "make" you happy you will be standing in that line for a long time.Instead of worrying about your fantasy "soul mate" or all that travel and adventure you "missed out on" being "strapped down" with that pesky husband and kids,worry about the happiness of those around you.

I've been married to my husband for twelve years, we've been together or almost eighteen years. We have four kids, a dog,three cats and a mortgage. For the most part, I'm happy. But we work, we give each other room, we forgive, we move forward. There have been points when either one of us would have been more than justified throwing in the towel. Marriage, like democracy, is hard work, but unlike democracy, there are alternatives that are attractive alternatives. You could live your life chasing the impossible perfect relationship or you can weather the trials with someone, take the good with the bad and create a life and a story together.