This Week in Depression

I know, I know, you've heard it before. Men are pigs, men are stupid. I hate men. But no, I'm not a neo-feminist man-hater cause they all suck kinda girl. Sometime s I am, but that's another article altogether. I loooove men. I think they're great. But like women, there are really awful ones and sometimes even the good ones can be jerky. And here's where the subject comes in. I'm being jerked around by one of those good yet jerky ones on . . . . .this week in depression.

So this week I decided to send out an olive branch to my estranged guy who is not my boyfriend. I'll start from the beginning.

So this summer I met a guy who seemed really nice. We went out on three dates and it was cool. He took me to a band the first date which was really nice. I got a little tips since he was driving, and paying. When he took me home, I was amazed that he didn't ask me to go back to his place. What a gent, I thought. And at the end, we made out for a few minutes in the car which was extremely hot.

The second date was even better. We went to dinner and a little bar afterwards. Then as I knew he was taking me home, I had him take me to get desert instead. He did and then on my surprise, he took me home. This time however on the arrival at my house, I was a little confused. He hadn't made a move all night and then he only gave me a peck on lips.

The third date was the kicker. He suggested we go straight to his house. This is where I thought I would find out what he really thought of me. After the past few week and a couple of dates, I was wondering if he was into me at all or if he just wanted to be friends. So we went to his place and he ordered pizza. I wasn't weirded out. We watched a comedy show for hours that he had rented. I wasn't weirded out. But when he said he was going to take me home at around 12pm on a Saturday night, I was weirded
out. But I left without protest.

When he dropped me home I felt weirdly . . .ugly. No kiss, no peck on the cheek, just a hug. I mean, here's a guy, an American guy, an American guy living in LA and the train of events had happened backwards. From kisses to nothing at all. It was insane. I consulted my friends, what was going on here? Were we just friends now? Did he not like me? And if so, what was the first date about?

They all concluded that if he liked me he would have made a move, he would have asked me out again. Well, I decided to wait it out and I he didn't call me again, I would have my answer. This is where the story turns. Instead of calling me, he starts e-mailing me. Unfortunately at the time, my computer at my house was down so I could only get e-mail at the library for a few weeks.

So he e-mails me and asks me what's going on, he wished that we could get back to where it was on our first date. I e-mailed him back the next day saying that I agreed wholeheartedly. That he should call me. But instead he e-mailed me again. The next day I finally got it and the following week he took me out again. Needless to say, I found out that he liked me.

And so it went on like this. Unfortunately, he took the e-mail thing and stuck with it. So I saw him a few more times and I had to go on a trip to Seattle. When I came back the first week of June, everything had changed. I called him and he e-mailed me back, wanting to get together. I took off work for a weekend, waiting for him to call me and he didn't. The following Tuesday he e-mailed me with his "sorry" story wanting to take me out again. And for the next couple of months, this went on. He would e-mail me, I'd e-mail him right back so as not to look the idiot by calling him. I'd tell him to call me, he never would, only e-mail. We'd make plans to see each other and then he would never confirm. He'd e-mail me weeks or days later saying he was sorry, he had to do this, that and the other.

So I finally gave up asking him what was going on, was there a reason he wasn't calling me back nor e-mailing me back? He gave me all sorts of excuses and then told me he was out of town but we would get together when he got back. Again, I e-mailed him and it took him 3 weeks to get back to me . . .over e-mail. I was too busy to put up wih this bull any longer so I just told him maybe it was better if we didn't see each other anymore, since I hadn't seen him in 3 months anyway. He said that he was going through a lot of stuff right then especially dealing with his ex-girlfriends and he didn't want to pull me into it. And I thought well, thanks for telling me that three months later guy. So I told him when he sorted out his life, to get back to me thinking that he never would.

But I was curious so about 6 weeks later, I told him again that we should just drp the whole things and say that that was it for us.

For the next two weeks, every other day, he would e-mail me and try to win me back, making jokes, saying he was sorry and all that. I simply ignored him. I mean maybe if he had called it would have been different. And then finally he sent me an e-mail with a sincere apology, apologizing for his flakiness and being a jerk and all that. I thought it was really sweet so I e-mailed him back saying thanks for the apology. I told him I'd get back to him the following week once my current job was over.

I got back to him and a week later, we went out again. But it became the same old thing again. He took me home without so much a peck on the cheek. But I figured we were starting all over since it was October and I hadn't seen him since May. And then he offered to take me out again the following weekend. I thought, okay, this is the start of something new.

However, something hung over me. It was something he'd said on the date. He talked about one of his ex-girlfriends that he had tried to tried to get back together with at some point. He told me they had broken up last year . . .meaning it had to have been this year that they tried to get back together. I didn't think anything of it cause I thought well, maybe it was before we met.

But now we jump to the real problem. The official break-up. He was sick. At least he said he was sick. On that Tuesday he e-mailed me saying that he was a bit under the weather but he should be fine to go out Saturday. I said ok, for him to call me on Friday and let me know when. He said he'd call me. So for the first time in a long time, I waited, and waited, and waited. And it was Saturday night at 6pm.

I felt compelled to write a not so nice e-mail to him. I told him how I REALLY felt. He was flaky, I thought he would change but he hadn't. I wasn't going to sit by my phone and wait for him to call me. He'd disappointed me too many times and I was done.

Well. . . I got a lovely e-mail saying that it was definitely done. He didn't want to "disappoint" me any longer. And also to "take care". He addressed not one issue, not that he hadn't called me or stood me up or did the same thing he'd been doing for the last 6 months. He just got mad and gave up after months of trying to make up for his mistakes.

See this is why women eat so much chocolate, not because we hate men or have that weekly thing, but because when we're so excited about a guy and turns out the ba jackass sometimes, it hurts. And eating feels good. And chocolate tastes good.

And then I remembered what he'd said about getting back together with his ex-girlfriend at one point. I realized it had to have been during the time that we didn't see each other because he'd said that he was having a problem with his ex-girlfriend that he didn't want to involve me in. So I said good riddance.

The only problem there was that I liked the guy. I mean, I may be painting him a but gray here but he is a really nice guy when it comes down to it and we get along, when we see each other anyway.

Fast forward 6 weeks later to a couple days before Christmas. I was alone, not at home this year so I felt like I wanted to talk to all of my friends. And I couldn't help myself, I had to e-mail him. So I told him I just wanted to wish him a Merry Christmas and I left it at that. To my surprise he e-mailed me on Christmas day and asked to call me after he got back from the holidays. I told him I'd love to hear from him and I'd look forward to his call. I told him to call me when he got back, which was yesterday in fact.

And again, I stupidly waited by the phone. And thus, I am a little depressed. Not because of him, but because of me. I did it to myself. I knew he wasn't going to call me but I waited anyhow. I liked him too much. Now the reason I'm a bit angry is because of him. It's nighttime now and I was expecting a call yesterday. I feel like a dip-s***. But it's ok because tomorrow I'll probably like him again and the cycle will continue.

Next week on This Week in Depression I will feature . . . . . .Work. It's depressing that I have none. I'll also update you on the cute flaky guy I'm almost dating . . . .