This Week in Depression - Dogsitting

Ah, dogs. Don't we all love them? Of course we don't. But most people do and I'm one of them. No, I don't have one of my own because I don't live in a place where I can have one. The other reason is I sleep too much. I realize this now as I am dogsitting for my friend for two weeks.

Having a dog is like having a child without having to change the diaper or teach it how to talk. Once they've learned to sit and lay, you're pretty much in the money. And this dog is the sweetest one out there.

So the depression comes from a few things. I'm dogsitting because my friend is in Morrocco right now watching my other friend get married. And yet, I must stay here and watch the dog have good old time. Then when she comes back, I will have a dog no more. So sad.

But I am kind of scared of having a dog in the first place. I don't want to come home and find that I forgot to give it its medicine or that it's run away. I have a fear that I will feed it or give it water or forget to walk it. Of course I've never done that with other dogs I've taken care of, but you have all this fear an anxiety when you're taking care of a dog. I hate this kind of feeling.

I can't imagine being a dog owner and being happy. That's my major problem. I want to take care of some cute little dog but I don't want to be responsible for its death essentially. I know it sounds morbid but isn't that the fear of most caretakers? Don't mothers fee that way about their children? One day I know I will but the difference in children and dogs is that children eventually grow up to be independent of you. And if they are independent, you don't have to feel like you are responsible for their life or death. You have done your part and you watch them grow and prosper.

But dogs need 24 hour attention from day one. Even a 10-year old dog is attached to you at the hip. Your freedom is blown and you can hardly stay a couple of days at someone else's house or go on a vacation to Vegas without making serious plans for the dog. A human can nearly take care of themselves when they're ten and although they need to be watched, they can function without you having them on a leash (for the most part anyway).

But taking care of a dog is a good testament to being a mother I suppose. I love dogs, I'm just sure if want to have one yet. Maybe if I grow a little more and I become more of a homebody, I can handle it. They are the cutest!