Thoughtful Mother's Day Gift Ideas for Grieving Moms

Grief is a natural response to loss. People don't like to grieve, yet it is an unavoidable part of life. Before giving gifts to someone who is grieving, it is important to understand a little bit about the grieving process, and have at least a vague idea of how the receiver of your gift is feeling.

Many emotions surface when someone is grieving. This is why it is so important to be tuned into the present grief stage of someone you intend to give a gift to. It is even more imperative when giving a Mother's Day gift to a grieving mom, because there are often feelings of guilt intermingled with her grief.

Shock, disbelief, denial, and anger are the first emotions to surface when someone is grieving. People are not prepared to deal with the loss, even if they have known it was imminent. They need time to work through this first stage. They need a support system, and people who will let them release their thoughts, whether those thoughts seem rational or not. They need to feel safe in the midst of chaos from their changing world.

Mom's who are in this stage may try to relive what they could have done differently to avoid the situation or death. It is important to consider that some moms lose their children to the outrages in society. Moms who don't know what happened to their child also must grieve, and go through the necessary steps to come to terms with their loss. Moms whose children get kidnapped often live with a deep sense of guilt and frustration for not being able to protect them from harm. They also live with the unknown, wondering from day to day what tortures their child might be facing.

Moms in the first stage of grief need gifts that give them time to heal and work through their anger. Hiring a house cleaner to help them keep some sort of normalcy is a good gift for these moms. Giving them a day at the spa to be pampered is a way to give them time to rejuvenate. It is also a good idea to take them on day trips for a change of scenery. They don't have to stop grieving during these activities; they just get to do it in different surroundings, which might make them feel better. The most important thing to keep in mind is that nothing can replace the people who will be their strength as they work through this natural grieving process.

The next step of grief is bargaining and depression. This process must be faced head on, and felt. People in this stage of grief pull back, limiting their social interaction with others. They don't want to be in crowd. They don't want to go forward. They simply want to feel their pain. They know it hurts and they need to be in touch with how painful it is before they can move forward.

Sometimes their pain is so great that they will try to bargain their way out of it. They are willing to give up part of themselves, if only they don't have to deal with their grief. They may feel crazy, wishing they could go backwards and fix things so they don't have so much pain now. They're not crazy, and in time they will come to terms with their pain.

Moms in this stage of grief require understanding and acceptance. They need gifts that will allow them to work through this stage without having to deal with the rest of the world. Some good gift ideas for moms in this stage of grief are bath baskets. Give them everything they could possibly use to soak in a nice hot bubble bath for hours. Include back scrubbers, pumice stones, face masks, fancy shampoo, body lotion, and even a good book or two.

Other good gifts to give for this stage of grief are movies. You can purchase some DVD's that a grieving mom will watch for hours, getting lost in someone else's story. Make sure that you are considerate, choosing westerns, comedies, and romances, without picking stories that might irritate her wounds. Another idea is to purchase a craft for her. Pick up a kit of needlework, painting, even a puzzle that she can work on to distract her when necessary from her pain. She will still need to work through this stage, but no one says she can't take a few breaks from time to time while doing so.

Sooner or later people begin to accept the loss of a loved one. They are ready to move forward, living life without the daily physical presence of their beloved. This is difficult for moms, because everyone knows that the whole situation is simply backwards. Moms aren't supposed to bury their children. Children aren't supposed to disappear. Moms are strong, and they do manage to carry on in spite of their pain.

Gifts for these moms are a little easier to give. If you are prepared for the emotional charge of giving heartfelt gifts to moms at this grieving stage, you can give gifts that will be meaningful and cherished. Framed picture collages and memory books are good gifts to give. Quilts made out of clothing that the child wore, or home movies that help mom relive all of those beautiful moments she shared with her child are treasured gifts to be given.

If you are unsure about grieving stages and how to recognize them, try to use some common sense. Moms who just buried their children probably don't need flowers, having seen so many at the funeral. Moms who are grieving a miscarriage, abortion, or stillborn child might benefit from a gift that distracts them a little bit. Moms who don't know what happened to their children probably need gifts that offer hope and encouragement. Inspirational gifts are good for these moms. Moms who stood by, while their child suffered and died from illness or tragedy might appreciate gifts that help other families facing similar circumstances.

All grieving moms need gifts that acknowledge their pain, accept their stage of grief, and support the process to work through it. Most importantly, moms who are grieving need to be acknowledged on Mother's Day. Moms who are grieving need to be recognized as the moms that they are, regardless of their situation.