Thoughts on Marrying a Younger Man

Rose Adams
I snap easily and become aggressive if I am tired or hungry. In my case, tiredness, headache and hunger go together. These three follow me home from office every night. On such tiring nights, I particularly detest wooing. My temperament does not get better, knowing that once home, it's either the landlord has removed the fuse from the metre because someone had the temerity to fart, laugh or cough loudly. Or it could be one of his children staying in the compound threatening to remove the fuse if the tenants do not pay for one electrical wire or another.

A neighbourhood with hydra-headed problems wouldn't you say? I've prayed and fasted for God to provide me with money to move out but I guess my prayers are not reaching him. Can't blame him, what with all Americans asking for different things from him. It becomes a cacophony. Getting home to rest without a complaint waiting, is a miracle.

Imagine the other day, I got home to find electricity. I was surprised and more so when no landlord welding pliers to disconnect my wire was waiting. But the happiness was short lived. I was bare down to my panties and bra, when my younger ones and I heard the unmistakable sound of explosion from our metre that rocked the building to its foundation. Nothing new with our metre exploding. It's a regular feature, but the one of that night was like Bush gleefully bombing Iraqi. Some one yelled. Folks, you should have seen my siblings and I fighting, scratching, kicking and elbowing one another as we tried to rush out of the door for safety. I forgot I was the eldest as I ran to avoid the building falling on me. I was already outside when I discovered to my embarrassment that I had on only pants and bra.

Sorry for the digression. I was in that snappy mood one night when a man-heavy accent-started tailing me. I would usually have given him a telling off, that would have had him blushing to the root of his hair but I became intrigued. He looked so young. My size may hide my age but not my face. It's decorated with a full map of age. I asked his age, he told me . He also said he was a businessman. I told him my age, real of course and waited for his reaction.

Without missing a step, he said it doesn't matter. Wow! Now the question is this: Does age matter in a woman marrying a man? I once boarded a bus going to New Orleans, where a younger man wooed me. With an elegant wave of my hand, I told him, he was too young for me. An interested passenger chirped in. He said age was no barrier to love. According to him, his wife was five years younger than him; yet he was having the best of life after more than six years of being married. He said he had to pick his wife from a bunch of others because he discovered that amongst all his babes, she was the most respectful. I still remember John at Ohio. The woman should be ten years older than him! This was a woman who had mature kids both in and out of Universities from her first marriage.

I heard all these from the grapevine. But John still went ahead to say I do with her. Though theirs was a church affair. And you know in such affairs anything imaginable goes. It's all to the glory of God and Amen! Whenever I think of men marrying older ladies, I think of female bodies that have sagged under the burden of age. Nature is one hell of mystery we can never cheat! Most times, the boobs would have become "Oshodi Isale,"(sagged) In deciding to marry a younger man, you have to find out if his mind has really mature. Mature in the sense that he's ready to be a man. Most men are still boys. They are married but still salivate over babes outside. It takes a mentally mature man to know when to say enough was enough at playing the field. It had got nothing to do with age. I have dated a younger man and believe me; he's the most mature man I had ever come across. I remember my friends asking me if he was really telling the truth about his age.

This was because of how he carried himself and the sort of discussion you find him partaking. In truth, age is nothing but numbers. There's absolutely nothing wrong in marrying a younger man if you love him. Is there such guy in your life right now? Has the age-gap been giving you sleepless nights? If you're sure he loves you, why not give the marriage or relationship a chance? Marriage is all about love and companionship. Grab life and happiness, while you can. I see life as being too short to worry and fret over little things like age when tomorrow, God might call us home. If God gives you only ten years with him and those years are blissful, isn't it worth it? Think about it sister. Don't allow your family members or friends to make you miss a chance at happiness, especially if the man is dead serious to marry you. MARRIAGE is the word, not a fumble and tumble kind of relationship and a shy good-bye the next morning.

Age is a perception of the mind. You can be forty and feel fourteen. You wouldn't believe I took almost 10 years off my kid sister, yet people find it hard to believe that she's younger. She's too reserve and have this sophisticated kind of hauteur. I love jumping on people's back to play horse ride. No! not that kind of horse ride! I could kiss mother and father on sudden impulse and have them laughing in that sort of way that says, " is this silly woman our daughter?" All my friends have told me Glory acts too mature for her age.
A younger man could be more responsible than an older one. Please don't push the younger man to the backseat.

As a younger man, do you love her enough to go the exra-mile of marrying her? Can you stand the ridicule and scoff from friends and family members that she looks like your grand mom? Think about it before proposing to her. Don't tell yourself that you'd manage her. Every lady deserves to be loved, not managed. I, Rose Adams, despite my several broken heart and age, deserve to be loved!

Dear sisters, if you have money and the younger man is always as broke as I am, then be doubly careful. Marrying a younger man, who does not love you, is like storing a bucketful of heartache for yourself. The time might come, when he no longer could stand your whether-beaten face and flat boobs and the increasing wrinkles. He may walk out the door. True, the wrinkles might not be there, but the wanderlust man would be the only person seeing the wrinkles. He sees the wrinkles because he wants to leave. He'll litter dirt on the floor of your heart. He will walk right into the room of a younger lady. And you'd think life was not worth living any more.

My pal, Armstrong gave me the idea for this topic. He said he could marry a 40-year-old woman if he loves her. Armstrong is in his early thirties. He said marriage goes beyond looks and age. If all men think like Armstrong, we wouldn't have problem. I don't know whether he was speaking with tongue in cheek. Armstrong, do you mean what you said?

A lot of couples are happily married despite the age difference. You too could be. The basic thing is to love and respect your man. Remember he's the head of the family despite his age. Quarrels will come, but whatever kind of spat, never remind him that you're older than him. Don't tell him to mind the way he speaks to you. His banging you already means you've thrown off the cloak of seniority.

It's like an older man, called " broda" by a younger girl. Once he bangs the girl, right there on the bed, as orgasm fights to burst forth, you'd hear the young girl shouting, "oh! Oooooh Kevin! Doooon't stop Kevin…" nothing bridges the gap between ages faster than sex. Remember you have one life to live. You deserved to be happy. Take a grab of life to day. Take a chance today, but be sure he truly cares and loves you. And you too brother, are you sure you wouldn't mind her age now and later in life?

Published by Rose Adams

My name is Rose Adams.You can say am plain, but it's not the same.I'm the fourth child in a family of seven children. I am a graduate of journalism from an American University.  View profile

20 Comments

Post a Comment
  • tiffany9/2/2010

    WOW! U have thought about it.

  • daphney12/25/2008

    Pls letme know the problems of marrying a younger guy.....will i look older than him after children?? my guy is 2 years younget

  • shivani12/25/2008

    my boyfriend is a year younger than me and I have the same worries.....
    Both of us are deeply in love but ppl say that cos women age faster because of childbirth etc he might leave me for someone else when we r in our forthies..
    Also,do women lose interest in sex earlier ...like in forties with men still wanting more of it...? pls clarify someone....

  • Robbie12/9/2008

    I married a woman 11 years older than me 4 years ago, we met when I was 18, (now 24 & 35) and have been unseperatable ever since. She has children who aren't much younger than me. She has 2 children 12 & 16. and we make it work. It's IS all about LOVE not age.

  • Jillita Horton9/27/2008

    Where in the Bible, Constitution, or any slab of marble or gold, does it declare that it is wrong for a woman to be involved with a younger man ?????? And if your friends are hassling you about this, they aren't really friends; scrap them.

  • Ali8/2/2008

    Finally a page where I can get my concerns out! I see that no comments have been made in like a year, but I just need to get this out. Ok, I'm still married to the man I married when he and I were 21. We've been married for almost 16 years now and I've fallen in love with a man who's 25! Yes, that's 12 years. I have a few very close friends I've confided in and they all think I'm crazy. One even brought up the fact that my daughter is 12 years younger than him. :( I'm so torn as to what to do...do I stay in a marriage where I'm settling, trying to do what's right for the kids and not myself...or do I go for it with the 25 year old guy who I laugh with, have so much in common with, enjoy his company soooooooo much (and no we havent had sex or anything...right now it's an emotional, intellectual connection), someone I'm in love with? I dont know what to do. :( I had no idea love could be like this! He's such an amazing guy and he fills up all the emptiness I've been feeling.

  • Melissa10/10/2007

    Francesca, I am in your same boat. I am out of a 12 year marriage gone wrong and have met this 20 yr old (turns 21 this month) and I am deeply in love with him. He has asked me to move in with him, marry him in the spring, and start a family. He's not your typical 20 yr old. He has a strong head on him, he loves the family atmosphere, and is everything I have ever wanted... but like you I am scared that he will leave me in years to come. He says he wont but no one knows how he will feel years down the road... I wish I could see the future... I love him and dont want to lose him.

  • Cute9/15/2007

    I finally realize I like younger man . Gosh he is 5 years younger than me and the other one is 9 years younger than me between them I stop my feelings. I told them to stop. I'am 29 years old. For me I still prepare a man who is older than me so I decided to enrolled in law school to find an older man. I'am so frustrated I dont want to say if I ended with any of the two that Iam older!!!!!

  • Francesca8/27/2007

    Sorry for the mistake belwo... he's twelve years younger than me.... oooppppppppssss

  • Francesca8/27/2007

    I'm falling in love with a man 12 years older than me... he's 21 and I'm 33..... I never would have thought in a million years that a younger man would have had such an effect on me. He's sweet, kind, mature and with strong principles... something my ex-husband doesn't have!! However, I'm scared to love again... I was so hurt after my 14 year marriage went down the drain. I'm scared that in 10 years time he'll fall for soemone younger and I'll get hurt again. I don't care about what people think... yes, I'm 12 years older and that's a lot but I can't help feeling what I'm feeling...Maybe I'm crazy, I'm so torn....

Displaying Comments
Next »

To comment, please sign in to your Yahoo! account, or sign up for a new account.