Three Days After Christmas

'Twas three days after Christmas
When all through the flat
Every creature was stirring,
Even the fat cat.

Brother built his new LEGO set.
Mom tallied her credit card debt.
Sissy broke her new Barbie mermaid's tail;
Daddy tried hard to fix it, and failed.

"When's Santa coming back?" Sissy wanted to know.
"Santa's a myth, dummy," Brother said. "Ho, ho, ho!"
Mom gasped. "My kids aren't dummies. Better watch what you say!"
Brother muttered, "She doesn't know what 'myth' means, okay?"

Daddy stepped on a LEGO and screamed.
"I picked up all my toys," Sissy beamed.
"You should wear shoes in here, Dad," Brother said.
"Pick these up now!" Dad shouted. "Time for bed."

"Aww! But I wanna play with my new train!"
"Can't. We're out of batteries," Dad explained.
"I want candy!" Sissy cried.
"No more. It's bedtime," Mom sighed.

Dad tucked the kids in and read them a story--
One of their new books from Great-Auntie Laurie.
"A book about manners?" Brother said.
"I wish she'd sent us money instead."

Mom kissed the kids and told them, "Stay in your bed!"
While visions of leftover pie danced in her head.
She rushed to the kitchen, threw open the fridge,
But found no trace of pecan pie from Aunt Midge.

In the pie's place was a plate of carrots and note from Santa:
Thank you so much for the wonderful pie...and the Mylanta!
My reindeer thought these delicious vegetables would help you fight
The urge to overeat on this three-days-after Christmas night.

Mom rolled her eyes and slammed the fridge shut.
She knew Santa was a good man, but
She didn't want to feed him again 'til next December 25^th.
Dear Santa, she wrote below his note, Hands off my pie, you big fat myth!