Three Steps to Surviving a Break-Up

Breaking up. There are few words that can conjure up such diverse feelings as fear, anxiety, sadness, stress, and yes, even relief as the single phrase, "we are breaking up". Acknowledge that you are about to embark on a big transition in your life.

So how do you cope right after a break-up? This article will outline what you can expect right after breaking up and point you to resources to have a more fulfilling relationship in the future.

Recognize that Change is a Process

We all realize that change is part of life. Think about it. We let go of situations that no longer fit our goals or needs. We have all changed jobs when the role did not fit our career goals. We have let go of a friend when we no longer had anything in common. In both cases, we have found better jobs and met more suitable friends. We would not have had this positive change if we did not let go of our unfulfilling situation. Believe that the same positive results will happen when you break up and watch your life open to new possibilities.

It is natural to have fear when facing a change brought on by breaking-up. You are letting go of something in your life. It is also natural to imagine several different outcomes of the situation. Some may be positive, some negative. There are 3 basic steps that you can follow to successfully navigate through a break-up and create a powerful game plan to find your ideal partner

Acknowledge Your Reactions

Knowing how you respond to change during a break-up is important. Ask yourself, "How did I react to my last break-up? If you can anticipate your response to this change, you can be more proactive in managing your reactions and resist going back.

Do you usually make firm and final decisions? If so, than you will most likely be settled and not feel tempted to go back into the relationship. If you tend to second guess your decisions and even change your mind, you may feel compelled to give the relationship another chance. Bottom line: know yourself and how you will react so you do not repeat unhealthy patterns.

Assess the Impact of the Change

Resistance to change comes from a fear of the unknown or an expectation of loss. Avoiding major economic impact and social impact often keeps people in relationships. Have you ever heard someone say that they can't leave because they will have nowhere to live or no way to pay their bills? How about someone who stays in a relationship because they loved their partner's family or because they have a fun lifestyle? These alone are not reasons to remain in an unfulfilling or even unhealthy relationship.

Make sure to consider how your social life or your circle of friends will change. Consider the economic impact of the break-up, even your living situation. How will you deal with the impact of your break-up in these areas?

Change your Beliefs and Take Positive Action

Our beliefs or thoughts help define our actions and feelings. If you believe that change threatens your security you will feel fearful and resist; if you believe that change presents you with opportunity, you will feel excited and move toward it. Think of your present situation and how the door will open to meet new and exciting people.

The article "Break-up Survival: Newly Single? What to Do Immediately Following a Break-up" will give you information on breaking old relationship patterns and gaining closure. In the article "Letting go of an Unfulfilling Relationship" you will learn a step-by-step process to create a positive vision for the future and an action plan to move into your ideal relationship.