Three Stupid Things Your Mother Taught You: Mom is Not Always Right

While growing up in the US, many of us got the same tired lines from our parents. Some of them are correct, of course, but not all of them. It boggles my mind when I see adults spew these supposed words of wisdom in comment sections across the Internet, so I have decided to school ya all right here and right now. Not everything you were taught makes sense... in fact, some of it is downright ludicrous. Dangerous even.

Never Speak Ill Of The Dead
Bullpucky. I understand the concept behind this, but if you really think about it, it is very counter-productive. To not let the truth stand is just plain censorship and rewriting of history. If someone dies, especially an influential public figure, let's not bury all the evil, bigoted crap they did just because they're dead now. Chances are their legacy lives on in the form of followers and to forget the bad rather than continue to speak against it is just plain unconscionable.

I was actually told this one in the comment section of an article about Falwell. Hello? There are certain people who have walked this earth that must be talked ill of in order to try to right the wrongs they commited. Falwell is one. Hitler is another. Bush is yet a third. (Wait, whaddya mean he ain't dead yet? Well, a gal can dream...) The point is that if we bury the things these kind of people did under the carpet simply because they ceased breathing, we are opening up the road for others to follow in their footsteps and commit the same atrocities. Oh no. Let's not stop talking about the bad. Not for one minute. Let's keep history accurate rather than sugar coat it.

If You Can't Say Something Nice...
Again, what are you saying with this? You wish to rewrite history? Personally, if there is something bad to warn people about, then I'm going to say it. Why on Earth would I keep quiet about all the bad things? that makes zero sense to me. You know the neighbor was convicted of child sexual abuse, and a new family just moved in with 3 small children... What are you going to say here: Oh Mr. So-n-so has such lovely treats for the children. Give me a break.

Now, I agree that nit picking small things is just catty, OK? It is a desired state of mind to look at positives rather than harp on negatives in general. But you have to have a line in here somewhere. You cannot make this a blanket tenet to be followed blindly in all circumstances. Children are quite literal, so you have to explain these exceptions to the rule to them if you are going to feed them these lines.

Respect Your Elders
Ummm yeah. One in every three children will be the victim of sexual abuse in the US. By telling them this one (and the previous one) you are in effect silencing them and telling them to put up with it. Oh, yes you are. You are condoning Grandad holding a child on his lap with one hand on their crotch and the other on a boob. You are silencing the child against self-preservation. Look here, lots of elders are just not worth respecting. Most abusers are relatives. Telling your child to not talk to strangers is just a small part of protecting them. Instead of telling them to respect all adults, tell them to act respectful, but teach them to stand their own also.

Again, if you insist on drumming this into the heads of your kids, qualify it with unless this, this, and that... There are so many potential exceptions to this that I just cannot feed them all to you here. Use your head.

I cannot state firmly enough that Children Are Literal Creatures. Anytime you want to force-feed them something that you think sounds all rosey and something good to live by, please stop and think about how that child is going to interpret it and use it. think about the possible repercussions of the sayings and rules you are so fond of beating people over the head with. And for heaven sakes, as adults shouldn't you have now figured these things out for yourselves? And yet I still keep hearing these. From adults. Ohj. I fear for these people's kids...