Three Ways to Stop Taking Things Personally

Either approach will achieve the end result of acting on assumptions of what you do not know. I have a suggestion for you that will greatly and positively affect both your life and the lives of those who come in contact with you. Stop taking things personally.

Easy to say, you think, but how do you actually pull that off?

Well, the person you don't want to ask is Saul. You know, the Saul from the Bible.

And the women answered one another as they played, and said, Saul hath slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands.

1 Samuel 18:7

David had clearly won a victory for the land and Saul was so upset thinking that they were putting him down when actually they were recognizing the valiant men of their time as one. Well, if you read on things don't end up going to well between Saul and David. However, that is a story for another day, let's look at what you can do instead of taking things personally.

1. Cut some slack

If you don't know that a person meant to say what you think they said then don't sentence them to your unrelenting torment. If you want to do anything, ask questions. Find out what they meant by what they said. You might find them surprised at how their communication was received. Even if not, as human's we are all in the process of growing and developing. Including whomever offended you.

2. Refocus your attention

You know, there is an offbeat chance that whatever was said might have been correct. Therefore, before taking action against your supposed adversary take some time to think about what was said. Even in humor there is often shadows of truth if not much more.

If in a group atmosphere, and strangely enough that is where these type of events seem to do the most damage, simply refocus to something else. Let some time pass. Think about what was said. Then, at the right time, re-approach the conversation with a fresh mind ready to really dialog about what you had heard.

3. Try Paraphrasing

When attempting to resolve a matter one of the best approaches is with the art of paraphrasing or clarifying. Simply put person "A" says what they meant and person "B" responds with what they heard. This continues until both parties reach a common understanding of what was said in a given event.

On the surface it may seem easier to talk about not taking things personally than it is to actually "not" take something personally. However, I believe that with enough time and practice this can be easier to do. Much like with any skill, the more you exercise it the easier it becomes to accomplish. So stop taking things personally and enjoy life. After all, if you don't enjoy your life, who will?