Throwing a Cheap, Chic Dinner Party

At times, it may seem that we are here on this earth for one purpose: To overcorrect for our parents. We are here to deliver on promises that "I will never be like my mother," and "I will not become a cheapskate like Dad."

Everytime I am charged with grocery shopping for an occasion - buying ingredients for a birthday cake, stockpiling rations for a camping trip - a little voice resounds in my ear. You will never do it as well as your mother. You will never pull it off as flawlessly or frugally.

Because where stretching a dollar meets stretching the imagination, my mother rules. Especially in party planning. She can set a table to rival the centerfolds of Better Homes and Gardens and she can stick to a budget better than the best party plan from Real Simple.

When I plan dinner parties, I usually relish the planning. I just hate my alter-ego, whispering its firey discouragement up and down every aisle of the grocery store.

To spare myself the theatrics every time I am in the planner's post, I try to temper the things that my mother taught me about being economical with my desires to be chic.

The first place to strike equilibrium is the guest list. From the guest list do most all of your dining decisions derive. If you want to achieve affordability in entertaining, you should take caution in inviting people you are trying to impress. I am not advising against inviting your boss, or people who have five homes, or your mother. Or my mother. I am just exhorting you to be wary.

When we try to be great, we often end up disappointing ourselves. So, try to be good. Make your home look good, make a good meal. If your guests think it was all great, then all your goods amounted to greatness.

I also recommend inviting a wild card guest. Someone unlikely who always praises your cooking, and inquires about your rare collection of popcorn kernels of the world. What does this have to do with affordable entertaining? Well, sometimes our egos can only afford so much critique, and if the rest of your guests are want to scoff or speak in lilting voices, "It's good! Really!" and make you feel the pauper, then certainly your dinner budget can afford one more guest who is guaranteed to offer a two-thumbs up review.

For the menu, always live by one rule: Make only the things that you will not mind eating for leftovers. Of course it is also prudent to check ahead for your guests' food allergies, kosher practices, etc., lest you grille too many cheeseburgers which your guests will not eat, and which you will not want to for many evenings henceforth. Remember, even if you go over budget, at least you will have leftovers that you will enjoy, and that is very chic indeed.

Another piece that many a dinner budget has centered around is the centerpiece. Flowers can be expensive. Cheap flowers, i.e. carnations, can look perfectly nice. That is, if you're my mother who knows how to arrange carnations beautifully, rather than the sad arrangements I come up with in which the carnations look like college freshmen the morning after their first bender. So try a this-is-not-your-mother's-centerpiece-centerpiece.

Make a bouquet of celebrity photos on popsicle sticks. When conversation runs dry, you can discuss Paris' jail sentence or Lindsey's proclivity for runny mascara. Other alternatives are a Lego Tower (It's been ages, hasn't it?), a spray-painted Styrofoam model of Pluto (No longer a planet: Discuss), or a festive vase of your popcorn kernels of the world.

In all of your entertaining, whether on a shoestring budget or just disciplining yourself to stick with generics, enjoy yourself, and do at least one thing of which your mother would not approve.