Tickets for Two

Marianne sat alone on the front porch considering the profound quiet inside the house. It had been two months since Hector's passing and she and the house had yet to recover. Unwittingly, she always found herself listening for the sound of the television or humming in the bathroom in the early morning. She half-expected a small wisp of shaving cream to be left on the bathroom counter where Hector had tried to clean up after shaving. He was never completely successful at leaving things the way they were after he was through with them, and Marianne would always have to come and finish where he had left off when she got ready for work. Now she prayed to hear the sound of water running or another off-the-wall joke from the comedy videos Hector adored. But the video collection had been sold to his cousin Giorgio. Most of his clothes had been taken to the Goodwill, as he requested. Hector's shoes, too worn to be of use to anyone, had been thrown out right after the funeral, as had old newspaper clippings from his hometown in Brindisi, personal items like his toothbrush and comb, his played out music tapes and even the mug that said "The World's Best Dad," had been taken by their daughter Cindy. Except for the leaks in the garage ceiling that he kept promising to fix, the house was empty of all traces of Hector. Yet he was still there, in a warm feeling that she would get when a favorite song of theirs came on the radio, when his favorite group came to town to perform, or when their son David would call, sounding exactly like Hector for the first few words of the conversation. The moment he began talking about college, it was obvious that Hector was not on the phone.

Marianne thought that she could handle the loneliness. She had gotten used to it living as a single woman and Air Force nurse prior to meeting Hector. She was accustomed to traveling and being on her own. Until the time that she was sent on her tour to Italy, all of her traveling with the Air Force had been done within the states. Her one-year tour in Brindisi was the first time that she had been sent overseas in her four years with the military. Almost ready to retire, she knew that this would be the last time she would have the chance to travel. So when the opportunity came, she took it.

From the moment she set foot in Italy, Marianne loved it. But there were certain things she had to get used to-the first being the heat. It was much warmer and than her native Minnesota, so much so that a bottle of water lived at her desk at the hospital for the entire time she was there. The next was the protracted sense of time. Rather than something getting fixed in a short amount of time, it would take a few days to a week before someone would come and fix her kitchen sink, or mend the roof so it would not leak. After awhile, she started to get used to it, though, as she settled more into her new place. In order to really get a sense of real Italian living, she decided to live off the base for once in a small apartment. It was quaint, with a wrought-iron balcony, a small garden window on the bottom floor near the front door and non-descript, mildly worn stucco façade. For Marianne this was adventurous, so used to being close to work, close to home. Since she was overseas, she thought for once she would stop being so guarded. After living there for only a few weeks, getting to know her neighbors and the area better she had to admit that it appeared she had made a good choice.

The drastic change of scenery, the new people and new sounds, somehow made the days seem exciting and full. The hospital staff was generally easy to work with. As for the patients there was nothing unusual. Most stayed for a few days and then returned home, a few stayed for several weeks, a few unfortunately passed away.

Nothing really out of the ordinary happened until Hector came along. He had been in an auto accident, speeding recklessly until he slammed into a tree and severely damaged his leg. His father had been an Italian American World War II solider who decided to stay in Italy after falling in love with Hector's mother. Therefore, his English was very good, although he complained about it being terrible. This along with his friendly manner made him very easy to talk to. But their time together would be rather short. He healed faster than anyone she had ever seen. When she remarked on his quick recovery, he just smiled and said her kind company helped him get better. That was the first clear sign that he liked her and she was so grateful for it. For the past few days Marianne had begun to develop a deep affection for him and would check on him as often as she could. It certainly was not difficult to like him. He had a subtle, cute sense of humor, a confident manner about himself, and a handsome face that all the other nurses had noticed as well. Amazingly, he could also be very thoughtful. It soon became obvious that they were getting closer. She was the only nurse that he would talk to about his parents, his job, where he grew up, personal things that patients usually reserved only for friends and family. And he certainly seemed rather popular since he had more than a few visitors. His neighbors, parents, friends and favorite aunt all came as soon as they heard that he was in the hospital. Hector even introduced them to Marianne. She was pleasantly surprised that their feelings were mutual, having been burned so many times before. Of course, they had to be a guarded due to hospital policy concerning nurses and patients. So it was not until his last day before returning home that she was a little more obvious with her affection. After Hector got into his wheelchair to be taken home she squeezed his hand and gave him a long hug. As she began to pull away Hector surprised her with a kiss. Her eyes widened with a mixture of joy and shock, as she hoped her supervisor did not see what had happened. Smiling, she told him to take good care of himself. He gazed at her a long time and then said that he would always remember her.

"What a nice thought," Marianne remembered thinking, feeling that he'd forget about her as soon as he settled back into his life.

As soon as Hector's family drove him away, she began to miss him terribly. She immediately chastised herself when she thought about him, "I'm not supposed to even be close to the patients like that." But she could not be too hard on herself. This had been the first time she really liked a man who was also interested in her. And now he was gone, blending back into Brindisi life, never to be heard from again. But to her surprise, who would come to see her three days later hobbling on a crutch, but Hector. He placed a colorful bouquet of flowers right in front her at the triage desk and waited for her to look. When it was obvious Marianne was really into her work, Hector spoke up.

"Pardon me, Miss. I am trying to find this angel of a nurse who had brought me back to health."

The instant she heard his voice she looked up and smiled.

"Hector? Grazie," Marianne smiled, slightly embarrassed and overjoyed at the same time. She was so happy she wanted to kiss him right there, but she restrained herself. She took the flowers and smelled them before giving him a hug.

"I wanted to see my favorite nurse," he said. As Marianne embraced him she thought Hector might actually be someone she could be serious about, someone who would stay for awhile.

They began to date and after only about a year considered getting married. By that time Hector had gotten a job in the U.S. An engineer, he worked at a car company, while Marianne worked at a local hospital. Two years after they met, they married in a small ceremony, which included the family that could make it to the States and Marianne's mother. A few months later, Hector was called away on a project that would take several months to complete. Long moments of being together followed by brief, but difficult separations would be a hallmark of their marriage. His work often took him away, though thankfully, not for more than a week. After decades with the same company he retired and for almost ten years they were the happy, older couple: visiting children and grandchildren, going on vacations, simply enjoying life. That was what Hector has taught her, to simply enjoy life. Yet now, at a relatively healthy and active seventy-three, she was miserable, not knowing how to go another day without hearing his laughter. It sickened her, all her happiness had died two months ago.

Marianne gradually looked down at the slip of paper in her hands which she had taken from the top of her dresser. Her son helped her print it off the computer. "A ticketless ticket," she had said when David handed it to her, "how about that?" Actually, the ticket had been for two people. On the eve of a trip returning to Brindisi where he grew up in, Hector fell ill suddenly with liver cancer. His death came quickly, far too quickly. One day he was fine, but within a month his health declined rapidly and he passed away. Marianne decided to not even make the trip but something kept her from ripping up the paper. She told David to cancel it, but he didn't, getting too busy with exams and hoping that she would change her mind. Perhaps she should go, she thought, but all Marianne wanted to do was just sit there; there was no use in doing anything anymore. She had once thought cleaning the house would make it less lonely. She was diligent in removing extraneous traces of Hector after the funeral. It was not that she wanted to forget him, but she desperately needed the detraction. But, she still had pictures of him on the wall and on the living room mantle which she successfully avoided looking at. Marianne determined to simply sit there on the porch and let the time pass for now. It was early autumn and the weather was perfect: warm with a slightly cool breeze. She would get the energy to clean up and cook dinner later.

Just then, the phone rang. It was Isabella, Hector's favorite aunt who had been waiting to see them ince last year when they first mentioned the trip. "When are you coming?" she asked in her expectant, heavily-accented voice. Marianne was almost speechless with shock.

"I can't come now. I'm sorry, Aunt Isabella."

"Why not?" she sounded completely surprised by the decision.

"Hector passed away. Two months ago. I'm certain you heard about that. The kids said that they told everybody."

"Yes, of course, I know; but you are not dead."

Her off-handed honesty sounded irreverent. Didn't she care about respecting the passing her favorite nephew? What made this woman think she could go on vacation now?

"The ticket is for two people," Marianne tried to explain.

"Change it."

Didn't she understand that Marianne didn't want to do anything but stay home? She loved her husband. Besides their children, he had been the best thing in her safe, solitary life. It would be too painful to go back. She wanted to do nothing but sit and recall happier days. It had been weeks and she was getting good at it, but not good enough.

"I just can't go now. I'm sorry."

Aunt Isabella sighed, highly disappointed. "It took you years to get the time and money to come back again and now you say no. When will you have the time?"

Marianne was getting annoyed. "Don't you think this is too soon? I can't

bear to do this to Hector. We were supposed to go on this trip." Her voice began to

crack and tears started running down her face against her will.

"Yes, well, that is fine. I won't try to make you come."

"I'm sorry. Perhaps next year."

"Of course," she said unconvinced. "Well, I will say good-bye now. I don't want

to run up your bill."

Marianne promised to talk to her soon and hung up. Was all his family so irreverent, she wondered?

Marianne returned to the porch. Dusk was now coming as bright orange sunlight hit the window on the front door. It was pretty seeing the light of the setting sun fill the air. It was reminiscent of her first trip to Italy many years ago. The buildings were so ancient and beautiful. Nothing in her hometown of Minneapolis compared to them. Though crumbing, the Coliseum was still enormous, and the pictures of the famous Renaissance masters were so vibrant and graceful. Hector and Marianne saw a lot during that first trip back to Italy, but they still were unable to make it to Venice or the northern most part of Italy. There was so much that she had yet to experience. But now what was the point? As she sat on the small swing Hector had put up for her many years ago, she thought about her children and how David was so occupied with graduate school now and how Cindy was very busy with her own family. As a mother of teenagers she still needed the advice and experience of her own mother. Both of her children still needed her, but their lives were becoming filled with things that drew them away from her. What did she really have now, she thought to herself. Marianne sat and cried again and recalled all the sacrifices they had made for David and Cindy, how hard it was during those early years they were married to save money. Trips to Michigan to see her mother and several to see some of Hector's friends and family that had moved to the States, made up the vacations they had while the children were growing up. Even after being retired they gave money to them for college books, to help with daycare, sometimes just because-so that Cynthia and David would not have to struggle like they did. They had sacrificed so much for them and they turned out well, both were busy professionals, responsible and good people. It suddenly dawned on her that just maybe her job with them was done. Perhaps there was no need for her to stay home all the time. Perhaps, just maybe, she should do something else with herself.

Marianne got up and walked back inside the house. It didn't take long to prepare and arrange things, but when she did a small anxious feeling settled into her as she tried to part with the house that seemed to call her back to its safe sanctuary time and again. But she ultimately said no. Then Marianne called a friend to drive her to the airport and boarded a plane to Brindisi.