Tiffany Patterson from Flavor of Love Get's Her Own TV Show: I Love New York

Sorry to have to rain on your little pity parade, since you (like me) watched "Flavor of Love" and watched tiny Tiffany (aka "New York") devolve into the lowest common reality TV denominator - a zero - and be eliminated from the reality show "Flavor of Love" not once, but twice. You felt so sorry for the girl who really seemed to be the Anti-Christ and the devil reincarnate. You really did, and you don't need to be ashamed of it.

Because, truth be told, you were watching some good TV and some really good acting. You knew this girl had something; you just didn't know what. This girl made Beth of MTV's "The Real World" and other MTV shows look like a has-been when it came to greed, manipulation and seduction--the three prime ingredients one needs to make it big in the reality TV world, supposedly.

Well, apparently you weren't the only person in the world to think that New York had some acting chops; so did "Flavor of Love" producers and TV execs, who offered Patterson her own show.

And the new "I Love New York," a spinoff of the wildly popular "Flavor" show in which Public Enemy hypeman and cultural icon Flavor Flav starred and New York co-starred, will be designed to showcase the obvious talents of Patterson - and, apparently, her obnoxious mother Michelle. The role New York will play in the series is unknown, though it will likely be one that showcases her talents as Daddy's spoiled little princess and as a drama queen.

But that's likely the way the show's producers created it - in the world that is little like the one you are living. The other reality is that reality shows are not impromptu gatherings of people sharing personal information; they are designed to entertain and require hordes of personal assistants and directors. For example "I Love New York" will be co-produced by Flavor Flav himself, along with Marc Cronin and Cris Abrego, the guys producing Flav's show.

I'm sure the ratings will go through the roof and Ms. Tiffany will toss somebody over the balcony while laughing maniacally as that person lands comfortably on a giant mattress and walks away from the series unscathed. All is fair in love and reality TV, right? Also look for a cameo appearance by Mr. Flav as well as the lady known for spitting a loogy in the mouth of Ms. Tiff, also known as Brooke "Pumkin" Thompson.

Known for creating compromising situations-usually at the expense of the other women in the house during her "Flavor of Love" run, New York aka Patterson will likely stop at nothing to get what she wants. Now it's up to Patterson to take on the men of the world--and conquer them all, but not with her heart, mind you. Reports are that she has already had breast-enlargement surgery and has mended fences with Thompson-though it's quite likely the fences were never torn. (Pumkin is a reality-show veteran, having appeared in shows like "Street Smarts" and is rumored to have a role in the new "Charm School," scheduled to air Summer 2007 on VH1)

I'll update the goings-on in the Patterson house once the show begins airing sometime after January 8 and the fake fur flies. Until then, let's hope for a man who can get beyond the scent of cologne wafting from her nape as opposed to perfume and really give her something to think about before she drags on the episode--and the poor guy--by the length of her fingernails.